The Journal of Isaac Martin

The Journal of Isaac Martin

Under an apprehension of religious duty, I am induced to record some occurrences of my life, and to declare of the Lord’s dealings with me from my young and tender years. Having, through Divine mercy, experienced preservation through many difficulties and trials, I have a hope that the same arm of power will sustain me through the various probations that may yet be my lot, in this vale of tears. Being now in the thirty-fourth year of my age, I begin this work.

I was born in New York, the 16th of the 1st month, 1758; and was carefully educated in the profession of Truth, as held by the people called Quakers. My dear father, Isaac Martin, was an upright, honest Friend; one that feared God, and loved the Truth. Being much concerned on his children’s account that they might have the Lord for their portion, he watched over us for our good, often caused us to read the holy scriptures, and other good books, and took us to religious meetings. He had a dispensation of the gospel ministry committed to him, and has left a good savor behind him. In his last illness, he expressed that death was no terror to him; and there is cause to believe that he is admitted among the faithful followers of the Lamb, in that “city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.”

Having found much benefit from a religious education, I desire that parents may consider the great importance of their station, and watch over those committed to their care, as such who must give an account, in an awful season. May they endeavor to cultivate every tender sensation that may appear in their offspring, arising from a conviction of their understandings, by the power of Truth.

When I was about eight years old, I felt the reproofs of instruction, to the tendering of my heart. Being tempted to take a nut out of a barrel, at a neighbor’s house, when reaching after it, I was secretly smitten with a conviction that it was wrong; so that I dared not take it. A clearer manifestation of the Divine witness, operating in my heart, I have no recollection of since. Having related the circumstance in the family, my dear father, like a tender parent, deeply concerned for my present and future welfare, informed me what it was, even the Spirit of Truth, that had thus met with, and reproved me; and directed me always to take heed unto it.

About the ninth and tenth years of my age, the Lord was pleased to visit me frequently as I sat in meetings; sometimes immediately by his own holy Spirit, and, at other times, through instruments, and my heart was broken and contrited. I used often to read Friends’ books, particularly their dying sayings, from which I received much instruction; being animated, at times, with desires to follow the examples of those worthies, especially of children near my own age, whose lives were pious and their end happy. These accounts being recorded for the benefit of posterity, the good remembrancer, the Holy Spirit was near, to excite me to examine myself, in order that I might see whether I was not short of them in purity; and also to animate me to a watchful, circumspect walking.

Thus, the great Shepherd extends the crook of his love to his children, in their infant years, when, like Samuel, they are not yet acquainted with the voice of the Lord.

Between this and the sixteenth year of my age, I was too much prone to levity; yet was, at times, met with by my inward Teacher, and cries begotten in me after him. Pride, and a hasty temper, would at times make some appearance in me; and once or twice, some evil expressions dropped from my lips; which were the occasion of deep sorrow. Several other instances also occurred, wherein I erred, and went astray from the law of the Lord written in my heart. But as I turned to him, and found a place of repentance, I felt a hope of his forgiveness.

About this time, the Lord Almighty, in the riches of his love to me, a poor, unworthy creature, was graciously pleased to visit my soul, and often to break in upon me in a powerful manner; whereby my heart was greatly tendered and broken before him. Blessed be his holy name. He allured me, and brought me into the wilderness; then was I often led into solitary places, to pour out my prayers before him. Afterwards he gave me to taste of the dainties of his table, and furnished my soul from day to day with the incomes of his heavenly love. He then plainly showed me, that if I would retain those seasons of spiritual consolation, with which he favored me, I must break off associating with my youthful companions in vanity; otherwise I could not enjoy those blessed times of refreshment. And I may say, with the apostle, I consulted not with flesh and blood, but gave up to the Divine requiring. Frequently since has my soul blessed the Lord my God for pointing out this path to me, and enabling me to walk therein. For we had begun to corrupt one another with foolish talking and jesting; customs too much indulged in by young people, although the Holy Spirit is grieved thereby.

Many of my companions were Friends’ children; and although brought up in the form, were yet too much unacquainted with the power of godliness.

Some of them afterwards giving way, little by little, and not minding the day of small things, became captivated with various foolish and hurtful lusts; and by associating with the people of the world, became leavened into its nature. Thus, gradually departing from the plain dress and manners, in which they had been educated, they indulged themselves in following the vain fashions of a wicked world; whereby a door was opened for associating with persons of irreligious lives, which proved a snare to them.

Simplicity and plainness of dress and language have often been as a hedge of preservation from much evil, until the day of God’s salvation has dawned upon the understanding, and brought the mind into covenant with him.

As I yielded obedience to the discoveries of Divine Light, a holy care was felt, that I might be preserved within the bounds and limitations of the pure Truth. Thus, having tasted of the good word of life, and in measure been made partaker of the powers of the world to come, a great fear and care possessed my heart, lest I should fall away, and lose the dew of my youth. Finding a holy warfare begun in me, I was concerned that it might be carried on; and having felt the reproofs of the Lord for transgression, I saw the necessity of watching against the first motions of sin. But I was assaulted with many temptations and besetments; yet the Lord was gracious unto me, and I was often drawn into quiet retirement, that I might wait upon him for the renewal of my strength; and under these exercises and conflicts my tears were often strewed in solitary places.

About the eighteenth year of my age, my health gradually declined for several months, so that many thought I was going into a consumption. In which time, the Lord was very gracious to me, and took away the fear of death, so that reflections thereon were pleasant to me. Being at this time apprentice to a man who was not in profession with Friends, I found great difficulties and trials among the work men, who were men of wicked lives, and much given to the use of strong drink; but my cries were to the Lord for preservation, who mercifully preserved me from being infected with their evil conduct.

A concern had been increasingly with me for some time, to request liberty of my master to attend week day meetings, and I felt a willingness to serve him after the expiration of my apprenticeship, as long as would be equal to the time I should occupy in attending them. At a certain time, when under an exercise to go to a weekday meeting, there came a person to the shop on business with my master, and the time of the meeting being near at hand, I believed it my duty to request liberty to go; yet was unwilling to break in upon their conversation. But the man staying until it was meeting time, I turned my mind inward, and besought the Lord, who strengthened me to mention my desire, which I did, and it was granted.

About this time disturbances broke out between England and America, and great numbers moved out of the city. Business of course became dull, and my health being much impaired, my master gave me liberty to go to a relation’s in the country. It being a time of great commotion, the Lord showed me, that I must take no part in setting up or pulling down the powers of the earth, not even to contribute there to, by any part of my words or actions. When the minds of many appeared unstable as water, and great distress and confusion prevailed, in various places, I found it best for me to have but little to say about state affairs. But while the potsherds of the earth were dashing against one another, I felt resigned to the Lord, who preserved me through all. One instance of Divine kindness, which I witnessed, among others, was as follows: Being at my relation’s in the country, there came a party of Hessians, who, having set fire to a neighboring house belonging to a member of Congress, came to ours, and appeared very violent. One of them presented a gun to one of my cousins; and it appeared as though they would have done mischief. We were in great surprise, not knowing to what lengths they might go; but in the height of our anxiety, I took up a bible, and unexpectedly opened it at a passage which was very suitable to our present condition. My fears were immediately dispelled, and a calmness came over my mind, so that I had no more fear of them than if they had been children. Soon after this, they went away without doing any injury.

In the twenty-first year of my age, I returned to New York, and found it necessary to enter into some business. And herein I was brought under great trial; being by trade a hatter, and not having freedom in my mind to make fashionable hats, and decorate them with ribbons, lace, and feathers, as was then the custom of the times. Under this exercise, I very much relinquished the thoughts of following my trade; and was minded to go on Long Island, and hire myself to some honest Friend, and work at the farming business, for a maintenance. But while under these considerations, as I was one day walking the streets, it came into my mind, with a degree of living faith, that I might follow my trade, and sell plain hats. As this intimation, which I believed was a Divine intelligence, ran through my mind, I had a hope that a way would be provided for my support; and the event proved the certainty thereof, although to the outward eye, it appeared very doubtful.

I have found by experience, that it is best to attend to the inward Guide, even in my outward occupation and business, and to beware of the merchandise of Babylon. For, as that faith which overcomes the world, is abode in, a way is cast up where there appeared to be no way, and the mind learns contentment with a little; because He who feeds the ravens, and clothes the lilies, is mindful of his humble, depending children. And although their faith may be closely proved, yet, as there is a keeping the word of his patience, they will, in due time, be favored to see the mountains of difficulty skip like rams, and the little hills of opposition, like lambs. For Zion’s travellers do well know that there are many of these to be surmounted in their journey from Egypt’s darkness, through the wilderness, toward a better country.

Oh! here is the patience of the saints. Here are they that keep the word of God, and the testimony of Jesus. These cannot bow unto the god of this world, nor worship the beast, after whom multitudes are gone astray—sacrificing the precious testimonies of Truth unto worldly mammon as their chiefest good; whereby their understandings become so darkened that they can see no beauty in holiness. Thus the precious gift of grace, of which all are made partakers, becomes hid, kept down, and oppressed. For the mind being gone from under the power of the cross, and seeking after fleshly ease, a desire arises in it to be increased with worldly goods, although the channel through which they are sought may be very impure. Hence also an indulgence in liberties, which they who are brought into the glorious liberty of the children of God dare not allow; for these, having tasted of the sweet incomes of Divine love, are concerned so to live that nothing may prevent its arising and filling their hearts. These are often concerned to bring their deeds to the Light, the just witness of God, which directs and goes before them, even as the pillar of fire and of cloud went before the children of Israel. Hereby, their wills being brought under the government of him who is King of kings and Lord of lords, they learn of him who is meek and lowly in heart. Thus the child’s state is brought forth in them, and they can cry, Abba, Father! feeling a holy hunger and thirst after spiritual refreshment.

Although it is the lot of these, at times, to pass through baptizing seasons, and sometimes to suffer with the Seed, that is under suffering in the hearts of the unfaithful and disobedient; yet they are comforted when He comes, whose presence is their glory, diadem, and crown of rejoicing; and abiding in him who is the true Vine, and thus partaking of his life, they are carried through heights and depths, and enabled to walk by faith, to the overcoming of the many difficulties which lie in their way toward a better state of being. Thus the children of the Lord are all taught of the Lord; and he being their leader and teacher, brings all things into a holy order and harmony, whereby the standard of Truth is exalted by them, and an evidence furnished whose servants they are, and by whom they have been instructed.

Oh! that the children of men, universally, would attend to this inward Teacher! How would they be preserved in the hour of temptation, and even be favored, when Satan presents his alluring baits, with his subtle transformings, to distinguish between the voice of the true Shepherd and that which opposes the Lord’s work in the heart!

It is to be feared that professors of the Christian name are too generally climbing up in their own imaginations and comprehensions of the pure, unchangeable Truth; without coming to Christ, the door, into the true fold of rest, where his flock know him to go in and out before them, and find pasture: yes, they find rest to their souls, even that peace which is an evidence or seal of Divine approbation; whereby they are enabled to say, “My beloved is mine, and I am his.”

O Lord, draw me more and more into a near union with yourself! that I may ever follow that Divine Light which you have caused to shine in my heart; and which you have given me to believe, is sufficient to carry me through the wilderness of this world, where are innumerable dangers. Let me feel your presence; then shall I fear no evil: for your presence is better than life. Give me a measure of that faith which overcomes the world: that so I may be kept in times of trial; even when you are pleased to withhold your cheering love from being spread abroad in my heart. And when I stand as in the bottom of Jordan, grant that I may be kept firm, and enabled to bear a living testimony for you, so as to come up with songs of thanksgiving and praise to your great name. Even so. Amen.

In the twenty-third year of my age, I entered into marriage with Elizabeth, daughter of Joseph Delaplaine, of New York. Our marriage was accomplished, with the unity of Friends, on the 12th of the 4th month, 1780. As my mind was exercised on this weighty subject, it appeared to be of great importance; and in order that I might make straight steps therein, I was concerned to ask counsel of the Wonderful Counsellor, that his holy fear might be my preservation. And I can truly say, I sought him with my whole heart, and had evident confirmation of his direction.

Let all who are engaged in this important concern seek after Divine counsel and approbation: then, in times of affliction and trial, they may with satisfaction remember, that they entered not therein without the guidance of best wisdom. In all right marriages, there is a union of spirit experienced, and a harmonious labor to promote each other’s happiness, temporal and spiritual. Husbands and wives are thus made a blessing to each other and to their children. As they seek for wisdom from above, they become qualified to cultivate, both by precept and example, the tender minds of their offspring, and to impress them with a sense of the duty they owe to their great Creator, and the necessity and advantage of taking heed to the inward appearance of grace and truth in early life. Thus, when parents are jointly concerned to direct the minds of children to the source of all good, with earnest supplications to the Lord on their behalf, they oftentimes see the travail of their souls, and are satisfied that the blessing which makes us truly rich will continue to attend their labors.

But for lack of this religious concern resting on the minds of parents, how many of the dear youth are in a state of rawness and ignorance, with respect to the great concerns of religion. Being thus neglected, and becoming much estranged from the testimonies of Truth professed by us, as branches proceeding from the inward principle of Light and Grace, they are unable to give an answer when asked for a reason of their hope.

My heart has been affected in taking a view of the state of our religious society. In many places, too much ease and lukewarmness have crept in; and for lack of keeping up a faithful watch against a worldly spirit, the minds of many are too deeply immersed in the concerns of this life. Yet these concerns would be attended with the Lord’s blessing, if prosecuted within the bounds of pure wisdom, and with an eye single to the leadings of Truth; so that we should experience in them this language, “The Lord our righteousness.” Thus would he be unto us wisdom, whereby we should be instructed how far we might launch into trade and business with safety and propriety. I am persuaded that our desires after gain would be less than at present is the case with many. There would not be such an anxious desire in parents to hoard up riches for their children; which have often proved a snare, and too generally carried them away, as with the wings of vanity, followed by pride and spiritual indifference respecting the best interest of the soul, which is of more value than the whole world.

Until our Zion shall arise and shake herself from the dust of the earth, which she has contracted by adhering to the pleasant things of this world, the Lord’s work will not prosper in such a manner as is consistent with his good pleasure. For he is calling for the hearts of the children of men, where his honor delights to dwell. But this cannot be while the love of the world has the greatest place there; as is too much the case with many, whose views and desires after gain are not bounded by pure wisdom. Thus blindness, in part, has happened unto our Israel, and an eclipse is brought over the understandings of many, so that they see not the beauty and excellency that are in the pure Truth. Instead of loving the Lord above all things, it is to be feared that these love him the least; manifesting a much greater propensity and care after earthly mammon, than to lay up treasure in heaven.

Having, for a considerable time, believed it right for me to leave the city, I waited to know the mind and will of the Lord, with respect to my removal. After solid consideration, Rahway, in New Jersey, appeared to be pointed out as the place of my settlement; I accordingly removed there with my family, in the 9th month, 1784.

Having, for several years, had to pass through various trials and baptizing seasons, under which I believed, at times, I should be called to the work of the free gospel ministry, I was sometimes almost brought to despair, through the weight of those exercises which the Lord permitted to attend me for my refinement. But he did not allow the flames to kindle upon me, when I passed through the fire, nor the waves of affliction to overwhelm me. And although my faith was deeply proved, yet his arm was underneath to sustain me, else I had fainted; and I have found “it is good for me that I have been afflicted;” yes, blessed be the hand that dispensed these trials, in order to humble me, and to bring my will into subjection to his holy requirings. After being wrought upon by the power of Truth, in my youthful days, I had felt my inward Guide drawing me into quiet retirement; and now, at times, when in company with Friends whom I much preferred, I felt Truth spreading over my mind, and greatly desired that it might reach the company and bring us into a holy silence, so that we might witness the renewal of our strength in the inner man. But, feeling myself a stripling, I was too diffident to propose our sitting in silence, although I have since believed it would have contributed to my strength.

For some time this concern had been increasing, and as I united therewith and was obedient, these seasons were owned by the sweet incomes of heavenly goodness. In the 1st month, 1788, being at our Quarterly meeting at Shrewsbury, I felt a concern to stand up with a few words; but fearing lest I should be deceived, I earnestly besought the Lord for preservation from going too fast, or not coming up in a faithful discharge of my duty. Under the humbling dispensations through which I had passed, I had learned a good degree of resignation to the Lord’s requirings; and my will being now in subjection, He was pleased to furnish me with a clear evidence of my duty, and that woe would be to me if I gave not up thereto. Then did I not consult with flesh and blood, but yielded obedience to what the Lord required of me, and was favored with much calmness of mind. Although I did not feel a very extraordinary degree of life and power while speaking, nor yet such precious incomes of love and peace, after sitting down, as some I have read of (which occasioned some exercise to my mind), yet as I had been for years much in the capacity of a child, who is taught the parent’s mind, and has learned obedience through chastisement, as well as by manifest tokens of parental love and regard, for small acts of obedience, so I desired to be content; being conscious I had done my duty, and no more. The sweet refreshment intended for me was withheld about two days, when my heart was unusually tendered and contrited before the Lord.

After my return home from Shrewsbury, my mind was sweetly clothed with Divine love, in an extraordinary manner. When among my friends, visiting them in their families in a social way, the good hand was very near, drawing me into a holy awe before him. As I kept under it, the savor of Divine life and love often overspread the company, and we had seasons of refreshment together. In such opportunities my mouth was frequently opened to speak well of the name of the Lord, and to encourage others to draw near unto him in spirit; which seasons he graciously owned with his loving presence, to my great comfort and confirmation. In meetings, my mind was often overshadowed with heavenly goodness, and I felt concerned to stand up, sometimes without any openings further than to arise; and the Lord has helped me with matter, when nothing at first appeared in my view by way of testimony. My friends had unity with my public appearances; and in the 7th month, 1790, I was recommended to, and accepted by the Quarterly meeting, as an approved minister, having stood in the station of an elder from the 1st month, 1786.

In the forepart of the year 1791, with the concurrence of our monthly meeting, I performed a visit to most of the families within its limits; and was in a good degree owned therein, with that peace and comfort which is preferable to the fading enjoyments of this world—which passes not away nor grows dim with the lapse of time. How gloriously would the righteous testimonies of our fathers be upheld, if Friends were to seek continually this inward Comforter, bestowing to earthly things no more than a just consideration, and having their great desires bent on giving glory to God in the highest, promoting peace on earth, and good will to all men.

In the 4th month, I laid before the monthly meeting a concern to visit some of the families of Friends, within the verge of Shrewsbury monthly meeting, and obtained a certificate of concurrence therewith. Soon after which, I accompanied Mary Ridgway and Jane Watson to an appointed meeting on Staten Island, in which they were eminently favored to preach the everlasting gospel. They had come from Ireland, in the Lord’s service, and were very zealous against a lukewarm, worldly spirit. I had near unity with them, as also with our friend Samuel Emlen, of Philadelphia, who was at our Quarterly meeting.

Our beloved friend, Sarah Lundy, having a concern to pay a religious visit to some parts of New England and Nova Scotia, my dear wife offered to accompany her; which I encouraged, on account of the near unity I felt with the concern. William Shotwell, of Plainfield, being willing to go with them, I went on to New York with my dear wife, and they all embarked on board a vessel for Newport, Rhode Island. In a few days after my return home, accompanied by Henry Shotwell, I set out on a visit to the families of Friends, within the limits of Shrewsbury monthly meeting, having the unity of my friends therein. We visited the meeting at Squankum, and all the families belonging to it; also, most of those at Squan; then came to Shrewsbury, and were at their meeting on First day, in which I was silent. The seed of life appeared to me to be much pressed down in many hearts.

Having visited about thirty-five families at Shrewsbury, and twenty at the other two meetings, I felt released from the service and returned home to my family. In this journey, although poverty of spirit was, at times, my lot to pass through, yet I had cause to adore that good hand which led me forth, opened the way, and often favored me in these family visits, to my humbling admiration.

I live in an age wherein vital Christianity appears to be at a low ebb in the hearts of many people. Even the society of which I am a member does not shine in that beauty and luster which the Lord would endue it with, if there was a steadfast dwelling under his anointing influence. It was this that dignified our worthy predecessors, who, like Paul, were crucified to the world, so that they loved not their lives unto death. How is it with you, O my soul! Have you contributed to this too general lukewarmness that prevails among your fellow professors, by neglecting to improve the talent with which you are entrusted?

For some years I have labored under bodily weakness, and from my youth have had many scruples, with respect to living to eat and drink. Sometimes I have been enabled to practice mortification, and to keep my body under; but though favored with a good appetite, my weak state of health has been such that I have felt a care lest by too much abstinence the body should languish. I have also had a long conflict with the practice of smoking tobacco. In the nineteenth year of my age, it was recommended to me for the removal of several apparent symptoms of a consumption. After these had subsided, I continued the use of the pipe, feeling a strong inclination thereto, only as an amusement. But I found the witness within me opposed to this indulgence; and was concerned to maintain the watch against it.

In seasons when my faith has been closely tried, I have been mercifully favored to feel that I still loved the Lord. And in these times of proving I felt a care that if I could not do much for the Truth, I might be preserved from doing anything against it. A hope also was sometimes revived that in the Lord’s time truth and righteousness would again flourish, and Zion shine forth in her ancient beauty.

For the testimony of Jesus, Friends formerly suffered the spoiling of their goods, cruel whippings, and imprisonments; and many sealed their testimonies with their blood. But too many of their successors lived in affluence, and indulged themselves as in the sunshine of ease. Mark the consequence: dwarfishness respecting the spiritual life ensued, and many became so much ensnared by earthly mammon, that their spiritual senses were greatly benumbed, so that they were not in a situation to exalt the standard of the Prince of Peace. Nevertheless, a remnant has been preserved, who have been zealous for the Truth, and their lights have shone with brightness, so that a living testimony has been borne to the glory of Him who is causing light to break forth, to the discovering of the mystery of iniquity in all its workings. And I have faith to believe that the Sun of righteousness will more and more arise upon the nations, dispelling the mists of error and superstition, until the earth becomes filled with the knowledge of the Lord. For as people come to believe in the inward principle of grace and truth manifested in the heart, and faithfully adhere to its dictates, they will have bread in their own houses, and water in their own cisterns; so that they will not need to look to man for direction, but will “sit every man under his vine and fig tree, where nothing shall make them afraid.”

6th month, 17th, 1791. In considering the nature of covetousness, I had this view of its effects—that where it is allowed to have place in the mind, it prevents a right dependence on Him who superintends the universe. It also leavens into a selfish, earthly spirit, in which true love to God, and one to another, becomes less and less the concern of those who are blinded with it. Now, although to provide for our families is a duty incumbent upon us, yet, through a distrust of the care of Providence, too many become so attached to the gold which perishes, that their conduct declares it to be the summum bonum [the highest goal] of their pursuit. And however some of these may appear with a seeming outside show of religious concern, yet the penetrating eye of perfect purity beholds them as idolaters; and will plead with them in an awful day, when all coverings will be stripped off, that are not of his Spirit. It therefore highly concerns all to consider the uncertainty of their time here, and to seek the wisdom that comes from above, by which right bounds may be set to their desires of gain, and they be taught to do good, and to be willing to communicate to the necessities of the poor and the distressed. Thus, may those who are entrusted with riches become qualified to act as good stewards, and fill up their stations on earth with a holy propriety.

21st. My wife having been absent about seven weeks, in company with Sarah Lundy, in Truth’s service, I received a letter from her dated at Newport, Rhode Island, proposing her going on to Nantucket and Nova Scotia. Although I had been favored with a good degree of resignation, in giving her up to go this journey; yet, as I am subject, at times, to mental depression, which her cheerful and pleasant company has tended to mitigate, the prospect of her longer absence occasioned a close exercise, under which, for a time, I let in discouragements. But, attending a meeting, appointed by Rebecca Jones and Rebecca Wright, I felt some satisfaction; and next morning calling to see them, they spoke some words of encouragement, which had a reviving effect on my mind. After which, I visited a sick brother, and we took a ride about eight miles, for the benefit of the air, which I believe was of use to us both.

When the Master appears, and lifts up the light of his countenance, it is then that Zion’s travellers journey forward with delight. But when he withdraws the cheering rays of heavenly love, who can but mourn the privation? I think a dungeon, with the enjoyment of his presence, is far preferable to a palace, when the soul is entirely separated from him.

23rd. Our week-day meeting somewhat dull. Surely, if there was a harmonious labor and travail for the arising of the power of Truth, we should experience a nearer access to the throne of grace; so that we could say, one hour in the Lord’s house is better than a thousand elsewhere.

24th. Poverty is my portion; though not without a hunger and thirst after righteousness. I believe it is the lot of the saints to experience seasons of stripping; for the Master told his disciples that in the world they should have trouble. Now surely, it must be this that is to wean us from the world, and thus prepare us for a foretaste of that glory which is to come. For Zion’s travellers cannot derive consolation from the perishing enjoyments of sense; because these naturally draw the mind from a dependence upon Him who superintends the universe, and whose power alone can bring into a state of pure resignation, wherein we can say, Your will be done.

26th. “Having food and raiment, let us be therewith content,” said an inspired apostle. Yet how few professing Christians are willing to have their desires bounded only by things necessary for the comfortable support of the body? I hope I have, in good measure, learned to be contented with a little. But Oh! that my faith may be increased, and that I may be more and more devoted to the Lord’s service. May the wisdom from above ever set bounds to my desires, and limit my needs, so that I may be content in whatever condition divine Providence may place me.

7th month, 1st. For some time past, I have had doubts of the propriety of making high-crowned hats, according to the present new fashion. As I have retired to the Divine teacher within, I feel most easy to forego the profits that might result from the business. And however I may be thereby deprived of much custom, I have a hope that an overruling Providence will still provide for me those things which are needful for my support.

My mind has also been exercised on the subject of oaths. As a religious society, Friends have borne a testimony against oaths, for upwards of a century. Our predecessors suffered deeply, because they could not violate the command of Christ, “Swear not at all.” On this account they were exposed to the cruelty of wicked men, and some of them laid down their lives in prisons. I believe the testimony against oaths will yet rise higher. In order thereto, it is worthy of consideration, whether those who are scrupulous of taking oaths themselves, can, with consistency of conduct, be the means of others swearing on their account. This subject has for years been a matter of weight on my mind; and I never remember being accessary to others taking oaths, though, as to interest, a sufferer thereby.

7th month, 20th. For several days past, have been much with a sick brother-in-law, who appears near the close of time. Although his life has been exemplary, he being what is called an upright man, yet has he found it hard work to come to a state of perfect resignation to meet the king of terrors. But not withstanding his faith has been closely tried, I have a hope that his sun will go down clear. Surely, if the righteous scarcely be saved, what will be the end of those who live to themselves, as without God in the world?

8th month, 25th. Have been at Shrewsbury, about a week past, visiting some families of Friends, in several of which the spring of life was felt to flow sweetly to the refreshing of our spirits, and encouraging to follow on to know the Lord. Surely, his works are works of wonder; not only in the creation of the outward universe, and providing for its various inhabitants, but also in his dealings with the children of men, in order to bring them to an acquaintance with, and entire dependence on himself. Sometimes he withdraws the cheering rays of his love from the sensible enjoyment of the dedicated soul, permitting fears and doubts to assail it, so that faith seems almost gone. These dispensations have I witnessed: and close have been the searchings of heart, with desires that if anything in me occasioned these trials, it might be removed.

This day, at our week-day meeting, the beloved of my soul again appeared, dispelling the gloom that had covered my mind, and I was melted into humble contrition before him. In this state, I felt that I loved the inward appearance of the Divine presence more than any other object; and the language of my heart is, “What shall I render unto the Lord for all his unmerited mercies and favors?” Oh! that neither heights of enjoyment, nor depths of stripping nor suffering, may ever separate me from my God, who, in matchless mercy early visited me with his lovingkindness, which is indeed better than life. To him I desire unreservedly to commit myself, that I may be further instructed in that knowledge which is life eternal.

9th month, 2nd. Having read William Law on the Spirit of prayer, I felt my mind nearly united to some truths therein contained, respecting that death to self, and its workings, experienced by the truly regenerate; and by which the creature becomes humbled like a little child, with breathing cries after the sincere milk of the Word; these being the genuine effects of the new birth taking place in the soul. In this state there is a learning of him who is meek and lowly in heart, and thus that rest comes to be experienced, which is a foretaste of the glory hereafter to be revealed. May this be more and more my happy experience. And may the Lord, in his unutterable love, vouchsafe that wisdom which comes from above, to direct me through the wilderness of this world; so that in the hour of temptation I may be preserved in safety, and in every trial and besetment, may I feel that sustaining arm of Divine power, which can support and strengthen the soul, in all its conflicts. Thus shall I know that “the Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters.” “He gives power to the faint; and to those who have no might of their own, he increases strength.” He “is round about his people, as the mountains are round about Jerusalem,” and he will not allow a hair of their heads to fall to the ground without his permission. How great is the encouragement to trust in him with all our hearts!

Although the times look gloomy, with respect to the increase of the government of the Messiah, yet can he enlarge his kingdom by ways and means unlooked for by short-sighted mortals. Man is inadequate to the promotion of the glorious cause, until endued with power from on high. When this is experienced, and the holy warfare maintained, the eye being kept single to the light, the various workings of those spirits which are opposed to this divine government are discovered, and victory over the enemy obtained.

I am sometimes under depression of spirit, because I cannot feel greater indwellings of the Redeemer’s love; but I hope to be sustained under these provings by Him who alone can keep me in the faith, and enable me to grow in the Truth, even in these seasons of inward need. I have been willing to part with everything that I believed prevented the enjoyment of durable riches and righteousness; and I still feel a necessity to keep up the spiritual watch, lest I should be surprised at unawares, and make work for repentance. Too many, who have run well for a season, by not keeping the loins of their minds girt about with Truth, have lost ground, and fallen away. Oh! that I may press forward unto perfection, and so be enabled, in an awful season to adopt the language, “O death, where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory!” This will abundantly compensate for a few moments of sorrow and trial, which are more or less the lot of those who are travelling toward the heavenly Canaan: for the apostle reckoned “that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

9th month, 16th. I attended the circular Quarterly or general meeting at Mendham, and was favored with ability to point out the great benefit resulting from obedience to the principle of Divine grace, implanted in the heart; by which ability is graciously afforded, to work out our salvation. By this also are discovered the workings of the corrupt root of evil in us, which, if followed, leads away from the purity of Truth, so that the mind at length becomes dark and insensible, like the heath in the desert which knows not when good comes.

11th month, 1st. Was at our Quarterly meeting, held at Shrewsbury, where our friend Robert Nesbit was eminently favored to preach the gospel to several states present. Also, in the meeting for discipline, like a skillful surgeon, examining the wound to the bottom, in order to clear out the corrupt matter, he pointed out the causes of deficiency, in a very striking manner, and fervently labored for a reformation, and the advancement of the testimonies of Truth. May a blessing attend his sincere labors; he having distinguished himself as a faithful follower of Christ.

After the Quarterly meeting, I proceeded to finish the visit, heretofore engaged in, to the families of Friends at Shrewsbury, and was favored to get through, to a good degree of satisfaction. Although a remnant are preserved, who bear testimony to the Truth, in its simplicity and purity, yet many appear to have fallen into a languid state, so as not to see with holy clearness the excellency of abiding in their tents, as described by one formerly: “How goodly are your tents, O Jacob; and your tabernacles, O Israel! As the valleys are they spread forth, as gardens by the river side; and as trees of lign-aloes which the Lord has planted.” Here, the beauty, comeliness, and fruitfulness of the true spiritual Israel are typified; deriving their sufficiency from the Vine of life, so that none are barren or unfruitful in the works of righteous.

Having had drawings of spirit to visit the families of Kingwood monthly meeting, and being furnished with a certificate of unity from our own monthly meeting, after a solemn parting with my dear family, I left home the 5th of the 12th month; having the company of Edmund Williams, of Shrewsbury. We attended the monthly meeting held at Hardwich, and proceeded to Paulins-kill, and from there to a place called the Drowned Lands; where, coming to a friend’s house, we found he was from home; but a messenger going for him, through some misunderstanding he spread notice in the neighborhood of a meeting for us. This being altogether unexpected by us, occasioned considerable exercise; but after weighty deliberation we felt easy to attend it; and although I felt myself poor, yet faith was given to believe that the Lord would be with me. About sixty people collected, among whom was a Baptist minister, and a judge of the court. They all behaved quiet and solid, and ability was furnished to preach the gospel, recommending them to the gift of grace which they had received; and in forming them that as it was united and cooperated with, they would become acquainted with that religion which is produced by the inspiration of the Almighty; and then they need not look unto, nor depend on man, whose breath is in his nostrils, for direction; that, as they became obedient to the heavenly vision of light and grace, dawning on their understandings, they would become acquainted with the tender dealings of the heavenly Father, and would come to have bread in their own houses, and water in their own cisterns; and thus come to a well grounded hope of a happy eternity.

After meeting, the priest appeared loving, and stayed a little with us; but I felt drawn into stillness, and found it best to be cautious and guarded in my conversation, lest I might lay waste the doctrine I had delivered to others; a watchful attention to the gift, or manifestation of the spirit in the heart, being that on which our safety and happiness very much depend.

After visiting the families at Paulins-kill and the Drowned Lands, we returned to Hardwich, and were several days visiting families there: during which time I felt a concern to have a meeting at Sussex courthouse. This prospect appearing weighty, I was bowed under the exercise, until I informed my companions of it; which they united with. My spirit craved that the Lord might accompany me in this weighty undertaking; and I can testify that holy help was near, enabling me to clear myself of what appeared to be my duty towards the people. Among others who attended, were a Presbyterian priest and several ruling men of that society, who were quiet and solid in their deportment, even in the silent part of the meeting; they not being such strangers to silent spiritual worship as formerly.

I hope the day will come, when the knowledge of the Lord will more and more cover the earth, and the people more generally become acquainted with the Divine anointing in their hearts: and as they abide under its teachings, they will see the deceit of a hireling ministry. May the Lord hasten the day, if it be his holy will, so that the kingdom of antichrist may be laid waste, and that righteousness which exalts a nation, more and more abound.

After this meeting, we continued our religious visits to the families of Hardwich preparative meeting. Near the close of which, as I was riding along the road my mind was sweetly comforted and refreshed, with the incomes of Divine love; furnishing an evidence that I had been among them, in the discharge of my duty to Him, who is worthy to be served. I returned home the 27th of 12th month and found my family well; for which I felt thankful to the Father of all our mercies.

In the 2nd month, 1792, I was much exercised with inward poverty, and frequent conflicts of spirit which brought me very low, and willing to be resigned to Divine disposal. In this state, it opened to me, that I must return to Hardwich; which at first seemed strange, as I had been there so lately. But, attaining to resignation, I was favored with an evidence of peace; and having opened the concern to some of my friends, who concurred therewith, I left home the 27th, accompanied by Richard Hartshorne.

As we passed through Hacketstown, a place where none of our Society reside, it appeared to me that I must appoint a meeting there. So having attended Hardwich week-day meeting, in which I had some service with the unity of Friends, a meeting was appointed at Hacketstown the next day. Sarah Lundy, who had lately returned from a religious visit to Nova Scotia, and several other Friends went with us; and the meeting was held to good satisfaction.

We also had a meeting at Sussex courthouse, and another at the Drowned Lands, about ten miles further. In that at Sussex, after we had sat a considerable time in silence, I felt a concern to stand up; and having delivered a few sentences, there was a great cry of fire in the town, which drew most of the people out of the house. So I sat down, and was favored with a good degree of composure, though not without some unpleasant sensations, at intervals. However, in about a quarter of an hour, the people returned, in greater numbers than before;—they were generally very quiet, and the meeting ended to satisfaction.

We dined at an inn near the courthouse, where came a woman under great exercise of mind. She had been at the meeting, was much broken in spirit, and expressed her fears that she was a lost sheep. I gave her such advice as I hoped might be to her profit, and left her. In the meeting I had been led to treat on the compassion of the good Shepherd, who, during the day of visitation, strives with the children of men, by his Spirit on their hearts knocking as for an entrance: and if they would but open to him, he would come in and rule there, first casting out the strong man, or will of the creature, and spoiling his goods. The great danger of delays in the important concerns of religion, had also been held up to view, as also the necessity of making our calling and election sure while the Almighty, in great mercy, waits long to be gracious. But yet it is declared that his Spirit will not always strive with man: a due consideration of which, I think, is enough to awaken the careless sons and daughters of men, from their spiritual slumber, and to alarm them, lest they sleep the sleep of death.

In this little journey, I felt unity with the faithful of every society, who endeavor to stand approved in the Divine sight, and according to the light and understanding given them, are occupying and improving the talents committed to them, to the honor and praise of the Giver. The true church is constituted of those who are built upon the revelation of Christ, in their souls; and nothing short of this will stand us in stead, let our profession be what it may. As Jesus said, those who do the will of his Father, are his brethren; and of such is the church militant here on earth composed; who, persevering in faithfulness, and in well doing, will, through Divine favor in due time become members of the church triumphant in heaven.

In the 5th month, 1792, I left home accompanied by my friend Henry Shotwell, and went to Kingwood. After attending the week day meeting there, and visiting several families of Friends, on the way, we sat with Friends in their 5th day meeting at Hardwich; also visited several families there much to my satisfaction. We then returned to Kingwood, and proceeded in the family visit, which occupied several days, during which I felt deep exercise of mind, on account of the difficulty of coming at the spring of life in some families; it was indeed a humbling, but I hope profitable season of instruction to me.

Rahway 4th month 14th, 1793. An exercising meeting, this morning, but towards the conclusion, the case of Naaman was revived with a call to the youth. Invited home to dine with me a poor disconsolate man, who told me he had no gleam of hope in Divine favor, for some months. I felt a little to impart to him in the way of consolation. In the afternoon meeting some light appeared, affording a prospect of a sweet meeting but it soon closed, and a hard travail followed with much inward poverty. At length, I became perfectly resigned thereto, and could say, Your will be done.

15th. Awoke in the morning, unwell; having been long exercised with bodily weakness: but was enabled to look to the source of all good, and to pray for preservation. Went to work about three hours, then quit, very much fatigued, and low in mind;—thought about declining my trade, but saw no other business to follow. After dinner went to work again—had conversation with a Baptist on predestination, and gave him Benjamin Holme’s Serious Call, which he kindly accepted.

16th. Devoted near half an hour this morning to religious contemplation and prayer; and was mercifully favored with a contrite heart: Blessed be the Lord. In the evening felt concerned to extend some private labors toward a young Friend, who appeared in danger of being led astray, by a disposition to indulge in a vain show.

Oh! what rawness and ignorance prevail among many of the youth. Are not the minds of parents too much on the earth whereby dimness, yes, blindness has ensued, so that an interest in the truth appears to be of much less concern than worldly riches for their offspring.

17th. Attended our monthly meeting, at Plainfield, which was a favored meeting. Felt a concern to exhort overseers and other active Friends to a more faithful discharge of duty, in private labor with the members, for the support and advancement of our Christian testimonies; in order that the deficiencies so long complained of may be removed, especially with respect to a drowsy disposition when assembled for the purpose of Divine worship, as also in regard to the neglect of attending week-day meetings.

18th. Went to New York on business. The passengers in the boat appeared to be very vain and wicked with which I was much tried. Surely the Lord will visit this land, because of the abominations which are found therein.

21st. Morning meeting dull: in which I could feel but little of the circulation of Divine life, but an inward exercise was maintained, to hunger and thirst after righteousness; which resulted in a quiet mind. I felt strong desires that I might be so preserved as never to grieve the Holy Spirit, and enabled to do that which is right in his sight; which I saw must be through a death to self, and a perfect surrender of the soul to the will of God.

The afternoon meeting was more lively. I was engaged to exhort to more faithful obedience to the discoveries of Divine grace, in the way of the daily cross; which being neglected and slighted, there was danger of incurring Divine displeasure. May it never be said of us as it was of Ephraim of old “he has joined himself to his idols—let him alone.”

22nd. This evening, J. F. departed this life. He was a young man of circumspect life and conversation. In his illness, he was favored with resignation to the Divine will, and bore his sickness, being the small-pox, with Christian patience. “Mark, the perfect man and behold the upright, for the end of that man is peace.”

23rd. Felt poorly with my usual complaint of pain in my head, so that I gave over thoughts of attending the funeral. But as I lay in bed this language ran through my mind; arise go to the burial of the young man, and preach there the preaching that I bid you. When I came to the house, our dear friend A. J. was speaking to the people. After which in a living manner she appeared in supplication, in much brokenness of spirit. I felt very poor, but was favored with inward quiet and followed the corpse to the grave; where I found it safest for me to sound a warning to those who lived in forgetfulness of their Creator and Judge;—likewise to bear testimony to the comfortable frame of mind of our deceased friend, during his illness, as the result of living an upright life. And I fully believe he is released from sorrow, and admitted among the faithful followers of the Lamb.

27th. Select Quarterly meeting. There is great need of keeping alive in our spirits, in the mighty concern of reading and answering queries, lest we center in a state of formality. Oh! that we may dwell in a state of deep, inward attention to the pure intimations of Truth, so that we may have ears to hear what the Spirit says unto the churches.

28th. A low, stripping season, with me; but was a little strengthened and encouraged in a religious opportunity in my family, this afternoon, in which Hannah Cathrall and Ann King, two ministering friends, had each a word of encouragement for myself and my dear companion, under our various exercises. The Lord alone knows how I am to be disposed of. May these humbling dispensations of affliction be graciously sanctified, and my soul cleave unto the Lord, who, at this time, I feel near to the tendering of my spirit.

29th. Attended Quarterly meeting. My sufferings still continue; and my trials, inward and outward, are very great; and my faith, at times, is at a very low ebb. Oh! that I may be content; and that every thought in me may be brought into perfect obedience to the will of my God; so that when he has tried me, I may come forth more purified, and be wholly devoted to him.

30th. Was at Youth’s meeting, and have been favored with more than usual serenity of mind. Had the company of many valuable friends, and, at the request of John Simpson, a tendering, parting opportunity, in which the Lord was pleased to favor us with the lifting up of the light of his countenance. Oh! that I may be formed and fashioned by him, so as to be enabled to say, under every exercise of faith and patience, Your will be done.

5th month, 1st. Devoted some time in religious retirement, waiting upon the Lord for the renewal of my strength; and I did not wait in vain; for He was pleased to soften my heart with the arisings of his Divine power. Oh! the need I have of his help, for I am a poor, weak creature, unable to think a good thought, without his assistance. I see the work of the soul’s perfection is a great and gradual work; and unless we abide in a state of watchfulness and prayer, how liable we are to slide into a state of weakness and insensibility?

I labor under great affliction, with almost constant pain in my head, which has somewhat impaired my memory. This, I believe, keeps me lower than I should otherwise be. But if it has a good effect, may I be enabled to bear this humbling dispensation of Him, who “does not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men.”

2nd. At our week-day meeting, felt the well was deep, and was engaged, as much as I was able to bear, in an inward wrestling for the blessing that makes truly rich.

4th. Much fatigued after two hours’ bodily labor. While in this state of mutability there seems to be a near connection between soul and body. When the latter is oppressed, the former often partakes with it. Have also suffered much conflict of spirit, when my stock of patience seemed almost exhausted. At length, this instructive passage revived, “Blessed is the man that endures temptation; for when he is so tried, he shall receive the crown of life.”

5th. At meeting, after a hard struggle with worldly concerns, which too much intruded, was favored to approach the throne of grace; and the scepter of Divine power and love was graciously held forth. Blessed be the Lord, whose mercies are still continued.

15th. Attended the burial of B. Shotwell, who deceased with the smallpox; he left a mournful widow and children. A meeting was held, after the interment, at the request of Samuel Smith and Rebecca Jones, who were both favored in testimony, and spoke of the uncertainty of time, and the great necessity of making timely preparation for death.

18th. My prospects of making a livelihood by my trade are very dull, being much circumscribed in my business on account of the prevailing fashions. Myself unable to do much, and fashionable work principally wanted. But way has hitherto been made, beyond my expectations. May I be preserved in the exercise of patience.

6th month, 14th. Jacob Shotwell, an elder of our meeting, being about a mile from home, was thrown out of his chair, and so much hurt by the fall, that he died in about two hours after. Oh! the uncertainty of our time here! Yesterday he spent some time at my house; but now is summoned almost instantly from works to rewards. But I have faith to believe he is arrived where the wicked cease from troubling and the weary are at rest.

A day or two after, heard of the death of Isabella Hartshorne; after about a year’s illness, with consumption. She appeared to be prepared for her final change, being of an exemplary life: a steady attender of our religious meetings, and concerned to labor for the arisings of life, in order to worship the Father in spirit and in truth.

Thus, within two months, our meeting at Rahway has been stripped of four useful exemplary members. May others be raised up to bear testimony to the power of Divine grace revealed in the soul, which is able to give victory over sin, and prepare for a residence among the saints in light.

Having felt drawings of spirit to visit Friends about Shrewsbury, I set out in the latter end of the 7th month, and was at the meeting at Shrewsbury on First-day, where I was concerned to exhort the lukewarm professors, to diligence in improving the portions of time mercifully allotted them, lest the day of gracious visitation should pass over. The exercised travellers toward the spiritual Canaan, were encouraged to hold on their way, and to keep to the precious gift of Divine grace, which will preserve in the hour of temptation, and enable to overcome all evil. But it is to be feared that too many who are making specious pretences of being the followers of a self-denying Savior, are yet going after their evil covetousness. Such will fare no better than the foolish virgins, who lacked oil in their lamps, in the needful time;—a lively figure of the heavenly virtue of Truth, which keeps the souls of those who abide in it, fresh and green, and fruitful, to the praise of their holy Preserver.

After this meeting I visited a number of persons, who had been disowned from among Friends. Unto some of these compassionate regard was felt to flow; and were they but willing to come under the circumcising power of Truth, it would gather them as from a vast howling wilderness, and bring them into the fold of heavenly rest and peace. After spending about nine days here, and at Squankum, I returned home.

8th month, 2nd. Attended the morning and afternoon meetings in New York, and was enabled to point out the great difference between a bare profession and a real possession, of the blessed Truth; the former taking in the outward Jew, who observes a round of ceremonies and external performances, with much seeming strictness, but at the same time, is in a carnal, unregenerate state, a stranger to that renovation of heart which is brought about by the searching powerful word of Truth; but as this living, quickening principle is believed in, abode in, and delighted in, by the inward Jew, whose praise is not of men, he has an eye to the recompense of reward, and comes into the real possession of the Truth.

Oh! may this all-powerful word be my support through this afflicted pilgrimage, wherein my faith and patience are often deeply tried. I feel like a sojourner here, in this state of probation, and ought not to take up my rest in fading enjoyments, which are swiftly passing away, and I am hastening towards an awful scene of everlasting fixedness.

Toward the latter end of the 8th month, in company with my kinswoman, Sarah Lundy, who was going on a religious visit southward, as far as Carolina and Georgia, I attended Bucks Quarterly Meeting held at the Falls. Had also the company of a large committee of Friends, appointed by the Yearly Meeting, to visit the Quarterly and monthly meetings in order to afford such help, as in wisdom might be furnished to stir up the members to a more lively concern in attending to meetings, particularly those near the middle of the week; and that when met, a drowsy spirit might be guarded against, as that which frustrates the good purposes, intended by these solemn occasions:—likewise to use their endeavors to discourage the distillation, vending, or unnecessary use of spirituous liquors. And as a manifest departure from simplicity and plainness of habit and deportment, was very conspicuous in many of the youth; these also claimed the solid attention of the committee, and much suitable counsel was given—also to parents and others concerned respecting the extravagant furniture of their houses. All which indicates a departure from under that Divine power, manifest in the heart, which, as it is abode in, crucifies the flesh with its affections and lusts, and sets bounds to our desires. But alas! the love of money has done us, as a people, abundance of hurt, and is as a corrupt root, from which other evils have proceeded.

9th month, 8th. Attended a General Meeting at Mendham, where I met with our beloved friend John Simpson, who was largely and livingly led forth in public testimony, suitable to the states of many present, a large number of people being collected, who conducted with sobriety. Next day, we were at their preparative meeting, which was small, but a profitable season—after which I went with John Simpson about 12 miles, to a meeting he had appointed, where no Friends reside—from there I returned home.

Pure religion is a work, begun and carried on in the heart, by the power of Divine grace, which as it is obediently yielded unto by man, he becomes leavened into a meek and heavenly temper, or disposition, and brings forth fruits of righteousness, to the praise of him who is the Author of all good.

9th month, 17th. Having had a prospect for several weeks, of attending the Quarterly meetings for Gloucester and Salem, my mind was much exercised, that I might rightly distinguish the voice of Israel’s Shepherd from the imaginations and conceptions of my own mind. But on carefully weighing the concern, I was induced to believe the Divine sanction attended it. So I parted with my dear family, and came to my beloved friend Benjamin Charke’s, at Stony Brook. Next day reached Thomas Thorne’s at Haddonfield; where I was informed that three hundred persons had been buried in Philadelphia, within three days; the yellow fever awfully prevailing there.

19th. Attended the select Quarterly meeting at Haddonfield; and truly it was a very solemn season; in an especial manner, when the business of appointing representatives to the Yearly Meeting, came before us. It was thought best not to nominate any to the service; but for Friends to be very weighty in their spirits, and such as had a prospect of attending the Yearly Meeting, to offer their names. When in a very solemn manner, such as I never before witnessed, nine Friends gave up to have their names entered as representatives: though it was agreed, Friends should be left to their religious feelings, when the time came, and not be judged blamable, if they did not attend. It was truly an affecting time.

After meeting, dined at Thomas Thorne’s—then walked into the fields, and humbly spread my cause before the Lord; my heart being contrite, and greatly desirous to know his mind and will concerning my attending the Yearly Meeting, now near at hand. And blessed be his name, he was pleased to strengthen me with his living presence, so that I had a comfortable belief, it would be well with me if it should please the Lord to take me hence. What shall I render unto him for all his mercies to me, a poor creature. Oh! that I may serve him faithfully, during my short stay here, in this world of trials and exercises; so that when I am called hence, I may appear before him with joy.

Next day, attended the Quarterly meeting for business at Haddonfield, where suffering, as is frequent in most of these large promiscuous gatherings, was my lot. I believe the time will come, when Friends will find it will conduce to the good of society, to keep these meetings select, and not admit those not professing with us to sit in the meeting preceding the transaction of business, as there are several inconveniences attending it. But as there is great openness with many to be at our meetings for worship, it seems to me, truth will point out the necessity of faithful laborers appointing meetings among these more than has been the case of latter times.

21st. In company with my beloved friend, John Collins, I proceeded to Joseph Kaighn’s, where we met our dear friends, Joshua Evans and Elizabeth Collins. Joseph very kindly took us in his boat to Philadelphia. After landing on the wharf, my spirit was awfully covered with a measure of the overshadowing of the Divine presence; and standing still with my mind turned unto the Lord, I could say, You know I have come here in obedience to your requirings; when a language sweetly ran through my mind, My peace I give unto you. I then proceeded to Daniel Offley’s. He was gone to visit a beloved young woman, Sarah Rodman of Newport, Rhode Island, who was sick, our dear friend Daniel being frequently engaged to visit the sick who are seized with the pestilential disorder, which now awfully prevails in this city, nearly one hundred persons daily departing this life.

After resting a few minutes, I went to the meeting of ministers and elders, where I met with a number of dear brethren and sisters who had come to this city as with their lives in their hands. There were about twenty women present. Only one representative attended from Burlington quarter, though several were there from each of the other quarters. The Lord our God was graciously pleased to favor us with his blessed presence. All fear of sickness and death seemed taken from us, and a holy, awful calm covered our spirits. The meeting held near four hours; and Friends were brought near to one another in the precious fellowship of pure love, which was felt to flow from vessel to vessel, to our mutual rejoicing and confirmation. It is good to trust in the Lord, for his mercies endure forever. He is still mindful of his people; he is with his church, and will yet enlarge her borders, and build up her waste places. Joy and gladness will be found therein—thanksgiving and the voice of melody.

Philadelphia, 9th mo. 25th, 1793. Awful indeed, is the present dispensation of Divine Providence, to the inhabitants of this city; loudly calling for deep humiliation of soul. Now his judgments are poured out upon the people, in a very wonderful manner. Oh! that the inhabitants may learn righteousness Oh! that they may bow low before him in humility of soul, and cry mightily unto him, if so be, he may stay his hand. May the Lord Almighty keep me, so that whether life or death, I may be resigned unto him who has been very gracious unto me, since I came unto this city, being a stay to my mind, which has been preserved in quietude. Blessed be his holy name.

10th month, 8th. I left home in company with my esteemed friend Hugh Davis, and rode to Mendham. Next day reached Hardwich and attended monthly meeting there the day following. After which we visited several persons who had been disowned; and they were invited to return unto him who was as willing to gather them as he was Jerusalem’s children formerly. On First-day attended meeting at Hardwich. To me it was a low time—the world has too much place in many hearts. Next day rode to Kingwood, where meeting with our kind friend Henry Cliffton and wife, it was like iron sharpening iron; found them much exercised on account of the awful dispensation of Providence, at this time of great mortality in Philadelphia. Several precious servants of the Lord having been removed by death since Yearly Meeting; among whom were Daniel Offley, Huson Langstroth and Charles Williams, worthy ministers in the prime of life; also Margaret Haines, a spiritually minded elder.

Joseph Moore, a minister belonging to Kingwood meeting also deceased the 6th of this month. He had been from home several months with several other Friends to attend the Indian treaty at Sandusky; and after his return home, went to the Yearly Meeting in Philadelphia where it was thought he took the prevailing disorder, and lived but a few days after his return to his family. He was a valuable friend, much beloved by those who were acquainted with him.

20th. Was informed that within a few days past, the disorder that has raged in Philadelphia, for about two months, is very much abated. A wonderful interposition of the Most High! So great has been the mortality that it is computed that about four thousand persons have been taken off the stage of this life.

11th month, 5th. Favored with the company and religious labors of Deborah Darby and Rebecca Young, two dear women Friends from England, who arrived in New York about four weeks since. They had also an evening meeting for those not in membership with us; which was large and satisfactory. Great have been the favors extended to this meeting at Rahway, both immediately by the visitations of the Holy Spirit, and instrumentally by servants and hand maids, often sent among us, as clouds distilling heavenly showers, for the watering of the heritage. But I apprehend, too few are enough sensible of these favors, so as to make suitable returns of gratitude, love, and fidelity, to the Author of these blessings. May there be an increase of watchfulness and care among the members, is what I very much desire.

6th. My spirit has been revived this day, in feeling access to the throne of grace, and being divinely supported under deep exercises both of body and mind. I am led to believe that I must bear a faithful testimony against the spirit of pride and vanity, not only when called thereunto in public, but, as a seal of the same, I have been constrained to abstain from making or vending such articles of trade, as are invented to gratify the vain minds of the people. Under this restraint, the prospect of maintaining my family at times looks gloomy; having also for a long time, been much afflicted with a pain in my head, which renders me incapable of much bodily exertion. But Oh! that my faith may be increased, and strength given me to bear, in holy resignation, whatever may be dispensed by Him, who has hitherto been my caretaker and preserver; and if I have but little of this world’s goods, may I still love and adore him above all; for it is in unerring wisdom that he dispenses affliction, as the pathway to everlasting glory. May his will be done.

10th. Was at New York and attended fore and afternoon meetings, which have much increased as to numbers, within a few years past. While I was communicating some solemn and humbling truths in relation to the shortness and uncertainty of our time here, and the great necessity of making timely preparation for a better and more enduring inheritance; my way seemed to close up, and I sat down, though under some discouragement. May I ever be careful to attend only to the life, however like a fool I may appear, and close when the current of life closes, as well knowing it is that alone which can qualify for true gospel ministry.

12th month, 24th. Having for some time felt a draft to make a religious visit in the neighborhood of Shrewsbury; with the concurrence of Friends, I set out and reached Edmund Williams’. The next evening had a meeting at Poplar Swamp, which was large and measurably favored with Divine regard. Next day, had a meeting at Deal, and the day following at Long Branch; which was a favored, good meeting. On First-day morning attended Shrewsbury meeting, also had a meeting at Colts Neck in the evening, which was rather hard and laborious.

On the 31st had a very large meeting at Shrewsbury made up of different societies. The master of assemblies was graciously near, being strength in weakness, mouth and wisdom to me. I was concerned to recommend to brotherly love, and to show that individuals by dwelling in the Truth, might be a blessing to their families and neighborhoods, in promoting peace and harmony among others. Thus, by learning of him who is meek and lowly of heart, we become qualified to forgive injuries, and to see the inconsistency of war and contention, with the purity of the gospel dispensation.

On the 2nd of 1st month, 1794, had a large meeting at Squankum, eminently owned with Divine regard; and one in the evening at B. Jackson’s, among the Methodists, who appeared solid, and it was a good meeting. Here I was led to declare that all praying, preaching and singing, performed by the mere strength of man, unaided by the pure influence of the Holy Spirit, was no more than sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. Next had a meeting at Squan, and was again at Shrewsbury. After which I returned home, mercifully favored with a measure of that peace which compensates for all our labors and exercises.

6th month, 2nd. I accompanied a part of the Yearly Meeting’s committee in a visit to some of the meetings within our Quarter. Were at Rahway, Shrewsbury, Squan and Squankum. From there with Ann Mifflin and Philena Lay, to a meeting at Plainfield, and the general meeting at Mendham, also the preparative meeting there. After which had a strengthening, satisfactory opportunity with the people, at Sussex courthouse. Next day, were at Hardwich monthly meeting, where things appeared to be low, but Truth favored with ability to clear ourselves faithfully. From there to Kingwood, where also we had an appointed meeting. After which J. Sharpless, with the women Friends, went into Bucks county, on their return homeward—and after staying over First day meeting, I also returned to my family, having been absent about two weeks.

7th month, 6th. Departed this life, our beloved friend Mary Haydock, at Philadelphia, where she had gone on account of a cancer, with which she had been afflicted about three years. She was an affectionate wife and tender mother; a kind neighbor, a friend to the sick and afflicted, whom she often visited, communicating to the necessities of such as were in indigent circumstances. She adorned her profession, by a meek, circumspect life and conduct, was a diligent attender of our religious meetings for worship and discipline, and careful to feel after the arisings of Truth, in the performance of Divine worship. She was generally beloved; her innocent and exemplary conduct gaining her the esteem of most who knew her. My heart was affected with the account of her death, in consideration of the loss, both to the church and to individuals. But the Lord has taken her hence, and it remains for us to be resigned to his all wise dispensations. There is no doubt with me that this our dear friend is admitted into rest, above the reach of sorrow. May we that are left so pass the time of our sojourning here, that when the time comes for us to depart, we may have the evidence of peace and acceptance.

7th month, 17th. Having had a prospect for some time past of visiting Friends in Pennsylvania, as far as Redstone, I laid the same before our monthly meeting; and my friend William Hartshorne expressing a concern to accompany me, we were furnished with certificates of the unity of our friends at home, for that purpose.

Oh! how deep is Divine wisdom, in qualifying servants and handmaids to go forth and publish the glad tidings of peace and salvation! Deep baptisms of spirit are often necessary for these in order to prepare them for laboring in the church.

After some days of deep exercise, I left home and rode to Trenton. Lodged at Isaac Collins’. After retiring to bed, I was mercifully favored with near access to the throne of Grace, and the language of my soul was, O Lord! be with me in this journey from place to place, where my lot may be cast. You know it is in obedience to your requirings that I have left all, to go forth in fear before you. Enable me to keep my rank, according to your all-wise disposal. I feel like a child for the work you have engaged me in; let me hear your voice, and not mistake imagination for revelation: but in all things enable me to conduct agreeably to your holy will.

On First-day 3rd of 8th mo. was at Plumstead meeting; silent. In the afternoon had a meeting at Robert Kirkbride’s, where Truth favored us. Next day, attended the monthly meeting at Buckingham; where mourning was my lot, under a sense of the prevalence of earthly mindedness and lukewarmness among some of the members. Here I saw that man, with a great deal of worldly wisdom, is inadequate for promoting the cause of Truth. When members are appointed to services, who are not distinguished from the world’s people, in their dress, such as wearing cross-pockets etc. how can they labor for a reformation in the society? Since I have had a sense of Truth, it has been a burden and exercise to my mind when I have beheld these marks of superfluity, upon the members of our religious Society. The Yearly Meeting has earnestly recommended to monthly meetings to labor with the youth and others who deviate from plainness and moderation in their dress and address, as being certain indications of a worldly spirit, that is unwilling to bear the cross. May these things be laid to heart.

5th. Were at Wrightstown monthly meeting, where, in the forepart, a comfortable ray of light and love overspread us. But afterwards, it felt as if there was a great lack of weight and depth of spirit, among the members of this meeting, and that many of them were disqualified for complying with the Yearly Meeting’s recommendation on the subject of plainness and moderation. Oh! that a search may pass through every rank and station in the church.

Next morning I awoke at four o’clock, with my mind awfully bowed before the Lord, and he was graciously pleased to favor me with the spirit of prayer and supplication, to the tendering and contriting of my spirit. Attended monthly meeting at the Falls; where my mind was nearly united to a precious seed, and we were favored with the over-shadowings of the Heavenly Father’s love.

7th. Were at Middletown monthly meeting. Although here is an exercised remnant, who are concerned for the support of our Christian testimonies; yet a worldly spirit, and the love of money, too much bear down the soul, and prevent a daily communion with, and participation of, substantial good. Next day, had an appointed meeting at Makefield, which was comfortably owned with the overshadowing of the Divine presence. On the day following, had a meeting at Bristol, where the state of things, in a religious sense, appeared to be very low.

10th. Being First-day, we attended Darby meeting in the morning; in which I was silent, but my mind was much turned towards those not professing with us. Being informed, they held an afternoon meeting there, and notice being spread, a considerable number attended, at the fourth hour, when I had an opportunity of relieving my mind, and left the meeting in peace. Blessed be the Lord for this favor; he is indeed a present helper in the needful time. O my soul, be encouraged to trust in him, at all times.

The two following days, attended Quarterly, and youth’s meetings at Concord; but had nothing to impart publicly, in either. Then, taking meetings at Wilmington, Brandywine, and Appoquinimink, (where about seven families compose the meeting,) we went on, having meetings at Duck Creek, Little Creek, Motherkill, Dover, held in the courthouse, and to the Quarterly meeting held at Third-Haven. Lodged at my kinsman, James Wainwright’s. Attended the meeting of ministers and elders on Seventh-day, the public meeting on First-day morning, and had a religious opportunity with the black people in the afternoon, to satisfaction. Next day, being the 25th, attended the Quarterly meeting for business. I felt nearly united in spirit with a truly exercised remnant, who were engaged to labor in the Lord’s harvest. On Third-day, were at the youth’s meeting, which was large, many not professing with us attending, and it was a good meeting, in which several living testimonies were borne.

After this meeting was over, I felt poor and low, but seeing two of the people called Nicholites, I felt a concern revive in my mind to visit some of their meetings; and having the approbation of Friends, we set forward toward their settlements. Next day, had a meeting at Marshy-creek, and the day following, attended a meeting of the people called Nicholites; in which my heart was much tendered, and I rejoiced in being at this meeting. The rightly exercised travellers were encouraged to dwell in the power of Truth, and attend to its openings, day by day.

29th. Was at another meeting among the Nicholites, at Center, which was much more exercising; there appeared to be a rest taken up in the outward form of plainness and simplicity. Their clothing is of the natural color; for they object to dying cloth, esteeming it a superfluous expense, calculated more for ostentation than true usefulness. Next day, was at their other meeting at Tuckahoe; where I was led to treat of the call and qualifications of a gospel minister, as proceeding from the pure openings of the Spirit of Truth; and that those who minister of the holy things of the sanctuary, must be baptized with the Holy Spirit and fire, by the operation of which, their hearts being purified, they can from a feeling sense declare the way of life and salvation unto others, for that which is of God begets unto him. What an inexpressible blessing and favor to have a free gospel ministry restored;—a ministry supported by the pure indwelling of Divine love and life in the soul—furnishing with renewed qualifications, from season to season, to minister to the different states of the people!

I afterwards understood there was a cause for this doctrine being delivered among them—there being one present who was a speaker, but his conduct in several respects did not comport with a gospel minister. I had an inward sense of his unsoundness, and that he had not dwelt long enough in the furnace to be qualified to teach others. Before I arose I fervently prayed in secret, that I might not hurt the least babe in the truth.

Among other subjects, the necessity of purity of heart, was pressed home to their consideration, and that they might experience a daily waiting in the inner temple of their hearts, that the Lord’s work might be carried forward in them, and that they might be prepared, through an abiding in and under his divine power manifested there, to draw nigh unto him with acceptance. The formalist was labored with, not to leave the outward form which is comely and beautiful, but to press the necessity of experiencing the sanctifying, cleansing virtue of Truth, which alone can render the soul acceptable to God; and which quickening power, as it is abode in, will manifest itself by outward works; the outward form of religion will show itself in those who partake of the inward life, and feed upon heavenly and divine nourishment. Without this, the most specious outside show of holiness will be of no avail.

The Nicholites received and entertained us with great kindness. Among them are some tender-spirited people, with whom I felt unity. They profess nearly the same principles as Friends; many of them being very strict and guarded in their conduct and conversation. I was pleased in beholding the simplicity of their dress and manners. They are very particular in refraining from dyed stuffs; the women wearing white linen bonnets. I believe, beyond doubting, that the Lord has been at work in their hearts by his good spirit. The first of this society, was Joseph Nichols, mentioned in John Woolman’s Journal; he has been dead about twenty years. A great part of them are desirous of joining Friends, but others are opposed to it; and as they appear concerned that unity may be maintained among themselves, this subject will require time and the exercise of patience, which was recommended to them.

We next attended Friends’ meeting at Tuckahoe Neck, which was a low suffering season for the most part. From there, after visiting a sick friend, we went on by way of Easton to Bay-side, and lodged at a Friend’s house. Next day, crossed Chesapeake Bay to the Western Shore of Maryland, and pursued our journey to Alexandria, in Virginia. The weather being very warm, and the roads but indifferent, we had an uncomfortable ride, which, with the afflicting sense I had of the oppressed state of the poor black people, much depressed my spirits. My heart was unusually sad, and a horror of darkness seemed to overspread me, being measurably dipped into a feeling of the state and condition of their oppressors. In this deep exercise, I cried unto the Lord to favor me with the light of his countenance; and was favored to feel his presence near.

9th month, 4th. Attended the week-day meeting at Alexandria. Then went on over difficult roads, through Leesburg and Fairfax, to a place called the Gap, where we attended meeting on First-day, in which holy help was afforded. From there, accompanied by John McPherson, we proceeded by way of Hopewell, (formerly called Opeckon,) and over the Alleghany mountains to Redstone, where we arrived on the evening of the 12th. After a comfortable night’s rest, I felt much refreshed in body; but in mind, much like unto an empty vessel.

14th and 15th. Attended two meetings. Was much exercised under a sense of things being out of order, and that the enemy had sowed discord among them, which I afterward found to be the case. May the Shepherd of Israel arise, and strengthen with holy help, so that there may be a uniting together in the precious fellowship of pure spiritual love, which remains to be the characteristic mark, distinguishing the followers of Christ from those of antichrist. If this divine, cementing bond of union is not felt to keep us together, in a holy travail for Truth’s prosperity, in vain is a profession without it; being only an image without life. May the Lord in mercy preserve me, and enable me faithfully to cleave unto his Divine power, manifest in my heart; so that I may not, in any degree, mar the work whereunto he has called me.

9th month, 28th. Being First-day, were at Union meeting. The Lord was pleased to appear in power, in which ability was afforded to preach the gospel to several states present. Many hearts were broken and contrited, and the pure influence of Divine Truth spread over the meeting in a memorable manner. My spirit was bowed in awful, deep reverence, under the precious influence of gospel love. The lame, the maimed, the blind, and the halt, after being faithfully warned of their dangerous state and condition, were invited to return unto Israel’s Shepherd; whose gathering crook of Divine power and love, was graciously extended, for their restoration into the way of life and salvation; where with the sheep of Christ they might partake of the bread of life.

I now felt as though I might be released from further service in this part of the country. And although deep baptisms and provings of spirit have been much my lot while here, partly under a sense of weaknesses and wrong things, among many of the members of our society, yet the Lord has sustained and helped me, to my humble admiration. May the praise be ascribed unto him; and may his fatherly care and lovingkindness be still continued toward me.

Next day we set out, and crossed the Alleghany mountains, in company with several Friends of Redstone and Westland monthly meetings, who were going to attend Fairfax Quarterly meeting, of which they are members, distant about one hundred and seventy miles. As we travelled on, we met abundance of people, in wagons, moving towards Kentucky. We were frequently inquired of respecting the disturbances in Washington, Fayette, and Alleghany counties, on account of the unwillingness of the people to comply with the excise laws. But I informed them, I knew but little concerning these matters, my concern being of a different kind, and my delight to see people love one another.

I may here note the great difficulty of the inhabitants of Redstone in procuring salt. Many people travel 120 to 140 miles to obtain it; some with two, three, and four horses, each carrying three or four bushels on their backs; which by reason of the expense of the journey, is retailed in the Redstone settlements at thirty shillings a bushel. Other provisions there are generally cheap and plentiful, and their habitations comfortable.

10th month, 1st. We proceeded on our journey, and had a meeting at a place called Frankfort. It was held at an inn, and was small, hard, and laborious, being a very rainy day. We afterwards went on through the rain, and got lodging’s at a Dutchman’s house, where, though crowded for room, having but two beds for eight persons, we passed the night with tolerable comfort. Next day we got to meeting at Bear-Garden, an indulged meeting, among new settlers. We then rode twenty miles to our beloved friend Abel Walker’s, at Hopewell, where we were kindly received. From there we proceeded to the Quarterly meeting at Fairfax, taking Goose Creek meeting on our way.

After the Quarterly meeting, I had several precious, baptizing opportunities in Friends’ families, to the melting and tendering of our spirits together. Divine love flowed as from vessel to vessel, to our mutual rejoicing and encouragement, furnishing evidence that the Lord our God is still mindful of us.

10th month, 8th. After attending the week-day meeting at Fairfax, to my satisfaction and comfort, we set forward, and next day held a comfortable meeting at Bush-Creek, in Maryland. Various Friends from Redstone, Fairfax, and its neighborhood, were with us, on their way to the Yearly Meeting to be held at Baltimore; where there has been a time of great mortality, with a pestilential disorder, similar to that in Philadelphia, last year. My mind was much exercised respecting attending the service of the Yearly Meeting, and very desirous of being rightly directed therein. At length, I became fully resigned to go, and proceeded some distance toward Baltimore; when I was taken very unwell on the road. My heart was made contrite, and I was given to believe that the resignation of my mind was accepted, instead of the deed, after which, I felt perfectly easy to go on to Little Falls, and was favored with sweet peace, in a belief that I was in the way of my duty. We then went on, crossed the river Susquehanna and lodged at George Churchman’s, at East Nottingham. He was gone to the Yearly Meeting at Baltimore, but we had a comfortable opportunity with his children in the evening. Next day we dined at William Jackson’s, and, in company with Jacob Lindley, went on to Samuel Canby’s at Brandywine, where we lodged. After this, passing through Philadelphia, I reached home the 21st of the 10th month, and was joyfully received by my wife, children and friends; having been absent upwards of eleven weeks, attended fifty-six meetings and travelled about twelve hundred and fifty miles.

On the 25th of 10th month, I attended our Quarterly meeting at Shrewsbury, after which, in company with Joseph Cloud, of North Carolina, attended meetings appointed at Squan, Squankum, Deal, Poplar Swamp, Long Branch, and Colt’s Neck, to the relief and comfort of my mind. A few days after my return home, I set out for Mendham, Hardwich and some other places—also, in company with Richard Dell, had meetings in Paulins-kill, and the Drowned Lands; also one at Hacketts-town, to a good degree of satisfaction. Then after attending their First-day meeting at Mendham, I returned home.

While out on this journey, I was led to treat on the call and qualifications of a true gospel minister, and to show that in the discharge of so important and weighty a trust, a minister should be actuated by a sense of duty to God, and pure love to the souls of mankind. Such are made willing through the constraining influence of the gospel spirit, to leave all the nearest outward connections in life, as husbands, wives, or children, when called by him who is the true Shepherd of the sheep; and their labor in gathering souls unto Christ, is availing. While those who make a trade of preaching often leave the poor flock to take care of themselves, when a higher call, (i.e., more money,) is presented to them. By which they manifest a greater love for the gain of this world than for the welfare of their fellow creatures.

Other subjects treated on were the universality of Divine grace, election and reprobation. The power of choice being conferred on the children of men, by their great Creator, those who open the door of their hearts unto Christ, the Redeemer, and are faithful unto him, being the elect. On the contrary, those who resist, quench and do despite to his Spirit, through an unwillingness to bear the cross, which would crucify the disorderly working of the flesh, or old man with his deeds; these not liking to retain God in their knowledge, become more and more hardened through disobedience, and fall into a state of reprobation.

Not feeling clear of Pennsylvania, with the unity of Friends, I left home on the 12th of 12th month, and attended a meeting at the Falls, in Bucks county; from there went to see my beloved friends Deborah Darby and Rebecca Young, from England, now engaged in a family visit to the members of Horsham meeting. We were comforted together under a sense of the Lord’s goodness, who allots to his servants their different portions of labor in his harvest of ingathering, and none of them are dissatisfied with the wages furnished by so good and bountiful a master.

From Horsham with my beloved friend Jonathan Kirkbride, I went to Richland monthly meeting; also visited a Friend who had been so affected in his mind as to decline conversation, for about four months. The Lord opened to me his state and condition, and showed me that he was under a strong temptation and delusion, which I was enabled clearly to point out to him, in the authority of Truth, as we were collected with his family in the evening. After which I was constrained to kneel down and supplicate the Most High, as also to ascribe praises to his great and glorious name. The poor Friend was strengthened, and before bed-time entered into innocent conversation with us. He also went with me, very acceptably, about a week, and attended several meetings. After which we parted in near affection; I went to East Calm, where I attended meeting on First-day in silence. I then visited all the meetings in the Western Quarter, the last of which was East Nottingham. From there with a peaceful mind, rode to West Grove, not knowing but I might return home, under the precious sensations of heavenly goodness accompanying me.

Here, in my usual daily retirement, waiting upon the Lord for the renewal of my strength, I was brought under deep exercise of mind, occasioning a thorough search to discover the cause. At length it opened to me, with Divine sweetness, as a duty, to visit the families of West Grove meeting. And though I felt in a state of deep, inward poverty, insufficient of myself for such an arduous service, yet was enabled to resign thereunto, trusting in Him who requires no more than he gives ability to perform.

The 21st of the 1st month, 1795, accompanied by my beloved friend, William Jackson, I entered on the service of this family visit, and continued therein till the 25th, which being First-day, I attended meeting there; and was favored to feel the Lord’s presence to the contriting of my spirit. A blessed evidence was afforded me that I was in a state of favor, peace, and acceptance with him, the beloved of my soul: and I was enabled to worship and adore him, in awful silence; as well as publicly to supplicate his great and glorious name, and reverently to praise him.

28th. I am still mercifully favored to feel that the Shepherd of Israel is with me. Upon him I lean for wisdom and strength; and while I have a being, am desirous to be devoted to him, who is the never failing helper of his depending children.

2nd month, 1st. Attended London Grove meeting, which was exercising and large. On the 4th, I was at West Grove meeting, where I had good service, and having finished the family visit, I took an affectionate farewell of Friends there, to some of whom my spirit was nearly united, in the pure fellowship of gospel love. In the afternoon, visited Friends’ school; and next day was at New Garden week-day meeting. After dinner, I mounted my horse, not seeing any more service in these parts; but was presently brought under much exercise; and an opening presented to stay monthly meeting there, which I did, and Friends endorsed my certificate. Seeing no way clear to go homewards, I continued in the neighborhood till after the Quarterly meeting at London Grove, which I attended, in silence. After the youth’s meeting there, my way opened to visit the families of New Garden meeting; in which I was accompanied by Hannah Lindley, of whose company I was truly glad.

When this family visit was accomplished, way opened for my return homewards. On First-day, was at Concord meeting, which was a favored, strengthening time. From there, passing through Chester, Darby and Philadelphia, I went on to the Falls, in Bucks county; where Richard Dell, of Mendham, was engaged in visiting families.

3rd month, 12th. After attending their week-day meeting, which was a season of Divine favor, I was drawn to unite with Friends in the family visit. After it was finished to my satisfaction, I attended the meeting there on First-day, which was a refreshing time; then crossed the Delaware, and rode to Robert White’s, at Stony-brook, where I was kindly entertained. Next day reached home, and was joyfully received by my family, after an absence of more than three months.

7th month, 28th. Under humbling exercises of soul, I have seen that there is an increasing evil, which has done abundance of hurt in our religious society, namely, covetousness, or an anxious desire after the riches of this world. It appeared to me, that the understandings of many have thereby become so darkened, as not to see the beauty and excellency of the pure Truth, nor to enjoy its precious, heavenly influence, as the chiefest good attainable on this side the grave. The god of this world is presenting the glory of it to those who have escaped its gross pollutions, and under many plausible pretences many are caught with its gilded baits, or are in great danger thereof. A command was given me, to bear a faithful testimony against that spirit which is eagerly pursuing the riches and greatness of this world.

In the 10th month, I attended the monthly meeting in New York. It was small; great numbers of Friends and others having left the city on account of a pestilential disorder prevailing there. It seemed an awful time; but my mind, through gracious help, was preserved in a state of calmness and confidence in God, the incomes of whose life-giving presence supported my soul above the fear of pestilence or death.

Of latter time, it has appeared to me, that the Lord has arisen to chastise the inhabitants of North America, in several places, in a peculiar manner; but, in a general way, they seem to make light of these visitations. Corruption, I fear, increases in the land, and too few lay it to heart: so that one woe after another may still await us. O my soul! cleave faithfully unto the Lord your God, who hitherto has helped you, and who continues, from time to time, to reveal his saving arm of power for your preservation and support.

23rd. After attending our Quarterly meeting at Shrewsbury, and faithfully discharging my duty therein, I had meetings at Rumsen, Poplar, Manesquan, Squankum, over Squan river, at Long Branch and Colt’s Neck, which were attended by great numbers of other societies. The Lord’s presence, which is the joy of my life, was with me from day to day, and I returned home with the comfortable evidence of having been in my proper place. Oh blessed sensation! Oh inestimable blessing, to have our adoption sealed to us by the eternal spirit of God!

1st month, 9th, 1796. Have been engaged for above a month, in a religious visit to the families of Friends, belonging to Kingwood monthly meeting. The service was truly arduous; and had it not been for the Omnipotent Arm, which bore up my spirit above the billows and waves of discouragement, I would have turned back. But the Lord, who requires no service but what he abilitates to perform, as our dependance is steadily fixed upon him, was graciously pleased to strengthen in the needful time. My soul was bowed, from day to day, under a sense of the low state of many of the members, who, for lack of keeping up the watch, according to our Lord’s injunction, are too much absorbed in the love of this perishing world. Hence, love to God, and its natural effect, love one to another, have very much abated.

An outside, superficial friendship may be kept up, by mere natural men and women; but a true union of spirit, that seeks each other’s welfare, growth and establishment in the Truth, and the peace and favor of our Almighty Benefactor, is only to be experienced, by a dying to our corrupt wills and inclinations. As this operation is submitted to, we witness the heavenly gift of grace—the plant of renown to grow, spread, and prevail in our hearts, producing the blessed fruits, described by the apostle, “love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” These are the virtues which spring up in the soul, as it becomes leavened into the heavenly nature. Then, instead of rejoicing at the failings of those who depart from the paths of rectitude, or watching for evil, and spreading the report thereof when committed, there is a disposition to mourn and lament because of it, and in the spirit of meekness, to labor for the reclaiming and restoration of such.

Here, the order and government of the church is maintained; and pure love, being the spring of action, qualifies the members to labor for the promotion of righteousness on the earth.

But, at the present, does not iniquity greatly abound in the land? And is not the Holy Spirit continually grieved at the crying sins and abominations of the inhabitants, O North America! You have been chastised in your borders, and yet have not humbled yourself. Your corruptions increase, though you have been visited, both in judgment and in great mercies.

O my soul! draw nigh unto your God, and wait upon him for the renewing of his quickening power, by which you may be borne above the world, and all its perishing enjoyments, as well as momentary afflictions. His heavenly love is graciously vouchsafed for your support, in this your afflicted pilgrimage, so that you can say, “Good is the Lord, and worthy to be trusted, honored, and obeyed, now and forevermore.”

In the 2nd month 1796, with the concurrence of the monthly meeting, I visited the families of our particular meeting of Rahway, in the performance of which I was favored with the evidence of peace. Soon after, I visited the meetings of Shrewsbury, Squan and Squankum; also had appointed meetings at Benjamin Jackson’s, Poplar Swamp, Long Branch, Colt’s Neck, Tumsen, and over Squan River. At several of these places the people were called to repentance, under a sense of their dark state and condition. Yet, I believed there were a few, who were seeking the way to the kingdom, and I felt concerned to impress upon them the absolute necessity of seeking it within them, that so they might find righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit, to spring up and grow in their hearts. Thus everything contrary thereto being subdued, and cast out, the Lord’s heavenly kingdom would come in them, and he alone have the dominion and the glory, who is forever worthy.

11th month, 22nd, 1797. My mind of late, has often been deeply impressed with an awful sense, that a time of great distress draws near. A pestilential disorder has already swept away many people, but the living do not enough lay it to heart. Vice and immorality very much prevail. A time of great division and rending is approaching, and a noise of parties, contending for preeminence and rule; vexing and tormenting one another. These views have been much the companion of my mind, but I have hope in the never failing refuge of the righteous.

9th month, 12th, 1798. What an awful time! the pestilence does greatly prevail in different parts of this country. The city of Philadelphia is again visited; and near four-fifths of the inhabitants are said to have fled into the country, as from a terrible destroying enemy. About one half of the citizens of New York have also fled as for their lives, into the country round about—the yellow fever having again prevailed there.

The worldly wise may study and search into the natural causes, and endeavor, by human reasonings, to account for these sore calamities. But when vice and corruption are prevailing and spreading in the land, what reason have we to expect to be exempt from the chastisements of the Almighty? Surely it is high time for us as a religious society, to be less anxious after wealth; for by the too eager pursuit of perishing riches, our love to God is diminished, and we depart from the genuine spirit of the gospel.

9th month, 19th. Whilst waiting upon God, it was livingly opened on my mind, that through great calamities and overturnings, many who have accumulated great estates, will be reduced to poverty. It has been a time of outward prosperity, for a number of years past; wherein large opportunities of obtaining wealth have offered, of which too many have availed themselves. The testimony our worthy predecessors bore against worldly mindedness, and against trading in superfluities which are calculated to support pride and vanity, has been sorrowfully departed from; whereby the divine luster and beauty once eminently conspicuous in our religious society, is much eclipsed, and spiritual ease and lukewarmness have ensued. There is however, a living remnant preserved in many places, unto whom Truth is precious, and its testimonies dearer than any outward enjoyments. Unto these my spirit is united in near and dear fellowship. May the Lord Almighty strengthen and support them, under the various baptisms and sufferings which may attend them.

5th month, 11th, 1799. My wife and I were sent for to New York, on account of the indisposition of our dear father, Joseph Delaplaine. We went, and continued with him upwards of four weeks, until his close; during which time I thought it best to preserve some of his expressions, in writing, which are as follows:

5mo. 17th. He said, “I expect my peace is made. I am only waiting to enter into rest.” Then, after a little pause, he said to several Friends present, “Love silent meetings. Silence was the ground upon which our predecessors first moved in order to worship God. A slavish fear has sometimes presented to my mind lest the flock should sustain loss through a lack of vocal testimonies: but as I have dwelt in pure resignation to the Divine will, great has been my peace. Let life be the spring of all your movements in the church; generally speaking, it has been my concern to wait for it, to put me forth in the service thereof.”

His bodily pain being great, he acknowledged the Lord’s wisdom therein, and expressed his resignation; several times saying, he was ready and willing to leave this world, waiting the Lord’s time, that he might join the heavenly host, in adoration, praise, and thanksgiving.

20th. Being in great pain, he said, “Oh! the wisdom of the Creator not only his judgments, but his ways are past finding out.”

26th. Being recovered from fainting, occasioned by the violence of his disorder, he said: “In all these extremities of pain, and fits of fainting, the power of Divine Love is over all.”

27th. This evening he earnestly desired his son to seek the Lord, while he was to be found; mentioning the great concern he had often felt for his well being—and that he felt peace, in the discharge of his duty towards him in time past. He said that many had slighted Divine visitations to their souls; and mentioned the great danger there was in putting off the necessary preparation for death until a time of sickness, concluding with these words: “Wait O my soul, in patience, the Lord’s time—a little longer. The end of all things is at hand; and I am endeavoring to fix my eye upon the object of the saints’ faith.”

30th. He said, “You see the distress I am in.” I answered, Yes: and we feel for you, but cannot help you. He replied, “The true spirit of sympathy is internal. It is seen but little, and feels much.” Next day he said to a friend, “The Lord is gracious; his promises are yes and amen forever.”

6th month, 1st. Something being proposed, by way of medicine, he mentioned the improbability of being able to endure its operation; saying, “I would rather pass quietly away; but if you (meaning his family) cannot be easy without trying, I am willing to submit.” His grand-daughter coming to his bedside, he said to her, “I hope you will be a dutiful child, a lover of Truth, and a good example to your own sex in general.”

3rd. Our dear friend, Jervis Johnson, from Ireland, coming to see him, he spoke as follows: “My mind enjoys much sweetness: but my body is in great distress. I should have been glad to have been with you, at the late Annual Meeting, but it has been ordered otherwise, in the wisdom of God, to whom be all praise: his mercies endure forever.” Next day, as I was sitting by his bedside with his son, he lay very quiet for some time, then said to us, “We sometimes slip away very suddenly; and if it should be so with me, tell J. S. to make for me a plain, decent, pine coffin.” After a little pause, he asked earnestly, “Do you understand me!” I answered, Yes.

6th. He broke forth in prayer, in the following manner: “If it be consistent with your will, O God of all grace, mercy, and love, put an end to this distress.” His voice, through weakness, being very low, what followed could not be distinctly understood. Afterwards he spoke intelligibly, saying, “Am I not going the way of all flesh?” He was answered, “It appears so.” He then said, “Lord, hasten the time;” and, after a pause—“Surely, I am the clay, and he the potter. Our dear Lord and Master assigns no more than he abilitates to bear. His ways are all in wisdom.”

He continued in a patient, resigned frame of mind, waiting for his final change, until about the third hour in the morning of the 11th of the 6th month, 1799, when he quietly departed this life, being in the seventy-fourth year of his age; and, no doubt, is gone from a world of trials, to receive a crown of life that fades not away.

For about fifty years he had manifested a godly concern for the advancement of Truth and righteousness in the earth. Great was his concern for the support of our Christian testimonies, on various subjects, particularly in the guarded, religious education of his children and servants, being careful to bring them up in plainness and moderation. He was often engaged to discourage superfluities, in every respect, as well in the accumulating of riches, as in household furniture and apparel. On these accounts he was unwearied in his labors, both in public and private; and his example corresponding, conveyed a language to others, “Follow me, as I follow Christ.”

I may here add, that about three years before, he was brought very low, to appearance near his end, when he manifested an entire resignation to the Lord’s will, whether life or death. Some of his expressions at that time being preserved, are as follows:

He earnestly and affectionately advised his grand daughter, to love the truth, to keep out of the vain fashions of the world, to remember his example, and to observe plainness in her dress.

Some of his children being sent for, and coming to his bedside, he said, “I am waiting for the joyful time,” meaning his final change. He also expressed his resignation to the Divine will, and that he was in the faith that the Lord would raise up standard bearers for his Truth, who would bear a faithful testimony against the spirit of the world in its various appearances, in meetings, dwelling-houses and shops, as well as other places. “Oh!” said he, “how my spirit has been grieved, in beholding the stairs and floors of houses, covered with costly carpets! But the Lord is on my right hand, I shall not be moved.”

Speaking of some, who had told him before his illness, that he dwelt too much on the dark side, he said, “The world is the dark side, Truth is the light side.” Also said, he did not wish to quit his post, until the right time, although by some it is called dwelling on the dark side.

He likewise expressed his concern, on account of appointing members of our society to services in the church, whose conduct respecting superfluities did not comport with the purity of Truth.

At another time, he mentioned his exercise on account of the costly apparel of some of our members, although it was otherwise plain.

Thus far I felt easy to preserve the foregoing accounts of my dear father-in-law, whom I much loved, and whose gospel labors, accompanied by a life and conduct consistent with our holy profession, have been a blessing to the church.

*  *  *

Having felt a concern for a considerable time to visit Friends in the northern parts of New York State, and received a certificate from our monthly meeting for that purpose, I left home the 31st of the 12th month, 1799, with my beloved friend Henry Shotwell as a companion. To undertake such a journey at this cold season of the year, appeared very arduous, considering my feeble state of health, and occasioned weighty exercise of spirit; but Divine support was mercifully vouchsafed, and I had an evidence of being in my proper place.

The first day’s journey, on horseback, was very fatiguing, but we reached Richard Dell’s, at Mendham, from there proceeded on to Hardwich, having an opportunity with a sick friend and some others, by the way, in which my heart was so filled with the love of God, that it was as a vessel needing vent; and when my mouth was opened in testimony among them, I could utter but a few words at a time, being, as it were, swallowed up in the pure over-shadowings of Divine life. In this state, I was renewedly strengthened, and living praises ascended unto Him who sits upon the throne, and who has redeemed my soul, producing a willingness in me to be wholly given up to all his requirings.

On the 2nd of the first month 1800, we attended Hardwich monthly meeting, and the next day had a meeting at Hacketts-town; where the Lord enabled me to discharge my duty, which was followed by heavenly peace to my soul, under the influence of Divine love, in an unusual manner.

5th. of the month, being First-day, we attended a meeting at the Drowned Lands. Notice having been spread in the neighborhood, it was mostly made up of other Societies, very few Friends residing there. Almost as soon as I took my seat, my heart was filled with the power of Divine love; and when I rose on my feet, Truth was in dominion and the people were very attentive. In this meeting I believe several were made sensible of that Divine Power without which there can be no gathering of people unto the Shepherd and Bishop of souls. Many may be amused with a sound of words, by which no real benefit is witnessed. A cold, dead, lifeless ministry, too much abounds in Christendom; being the study of those who do not wait for the power of God to influence them, in this great work. It is the spirit that quickens; and where this is lacking, preaching or speaking is of no more avail than sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal.

We had another meeting in the evening, about five miles further on our way. In riding along the road, my mind was divinely strengthened, my spirit contrited, and in deep prostration my soul worshiped the great I AM for his goodness manifested to me, a poor creature. In this meeting my heart was again filled with the lovingkindness of my God, so that tears of gladness flowed from my eyes; and I was enabled in the power and spirit of Divine love to declare gospel truths among the people: about four-score of whom attended, manifesting much solemnity and tenderness. After I sat down, the spirit of supplication was poured upon me, and it was a tendering, baptizing season; the Lord’s power and presence being the crown of this meeting. What shall I render unto you, O Lord! for your abundant mercies and lovingkindness, which attend me, day by day!

6th. The weather being very cold, we pursued our journey about eighteen miles, under much bodily fatigue; but I felt that the Shepherd of Israel was my support under my varied afflictions and trials. On the 8th, we attended meeting at Smith’s Clove, where the Lord my God still favored me with the incomes of his love, and gave ability to show forth his praise. Next day attended New Cornwall meeting, which was exercising. My spirit was baptized into a feeling of the states of some who had revolted from the right way, and gone astray. But my Divine guide strengthened me to warn these, and set their danger before them, as also the means for their healing and restoration. There are however a number of precious Friends here, with whom I felt united in spirit, though poverty was my lot.

The following evening, we had a meeting at Newburgh, held in the academy. My soul was deeply bowed before the Lord, on the way there, and as I entered the house. It was supposed about one hundred and fifty of the inhabitants attended. And though Truth did not rise into dominion so high as in some days past, yet I was enabled to bear testimony against sin and iniquity, especially swearing and drunkenness; and to point out the consequences resulting therefrom, both here and hereafter. My beloved friend, C. W., of Cornwall, had a share in the public labor, after me; of which I was glad, fully believing at this time that two were better than one.

10th. On our way to a meeting appointed at Newburgh Valley, the roads being very icy, my horse fell and caught one of my legs under his body; which, however was not much hurt, although my wrist was strained so as to occasion much pain and swelling. Friends were very kind in assisting and nursing me. In the afternoon we attended the meeting, though still in pain. A glorious meeting it was; my soul being filled with the love of God, which made hard things easy. He put a new song in my mouth, and enabled me to preach the gospel in the demonstration of the spirit and with power. My life is not dear to me, if happily I may finish my course with joy. Life and death are alike welcome to me, as may be agreeable to the will of my God. This meeting ended in supplication, and living praises unto the Majesty of Heaven, whose I am, and whom I have covenanted to serve, with the aid of his grace, through time; and I fully believe my soul will live to praise God and the Lamb in an endless eternity. Oh! the manifold exercises and trials which the Lord has brought me through, both inward and outward! Magnified be his Holy name forever more.

The ensuing night was an almost sleepless one, by reason of the pain in my wrist; but I was perfectly easy in mind. Next day had a meeting at Gideon Mollineux, at New Paltz, which was silent, except a few words near the close merely to inform the people that my way was shut up from preaching, and to request their attendance next day which was First-day, the 12th of the month. Accordingly a considerable number assembled; but it was an exercising time to me, on account of some who had been anointed for the work of the ministry, and who for lack of keeping close to the heavenly Guide, were in danger of marring the work they had been called to promote. For, when any, through a slavish fear lest some should go away without being benefitted by coming to meetings, presume to put forth a hand to stay the ark, without a Divine command, it assuredly brings death.

At length after a long painful travail, life arose, and strength was mercifully furnished to declare the way of salvation, through the cross, which crucifies everything that has its origin from the unmortified will of the creature. Oh! the unspeakable loss many sustain, for lack of patience under the forming hand of Almighty Power. The creaturely part is too apt to seek relief from the creatures, when a perfect surrender of the will is called for; and when the soul seems to be deprived of the enjoyment of Divine light and life; then is the time the holy watch is necessary—then the transformer often presents something for present relief or to mitigate the anguish of this spiritual baptism of the Holy Spirit and fire, which would make thorough work in separating the precious from the vile, if patience was faithfully maintained.

Next day we had a meeting at Little Esopus, held in a dwelling house; the opportunity was divinely owned, and many hearts were tendered. The gospel was preached to the people, who appeared to be impressed with a sense of the power of Truth accompanying the ministry. Early in the meeting, and also near its close, I was livingly engaged in solemn vocal supplication, when most present were bowed in mind under a sense of the power of the word of life, which flowed as precious ointment. Praises be given unto my God, and magnified be his name forever.

1st month, 14th. We crossed the North river on the ice, and went to Crum-Elbow, where we had a meeting next day. It appeared to me there were some apostate spirits who had greatly revolted, and some deists present. After sitting near an hour, I felt authorized to address them, and mentioned my belief that there never were any of this class, but such as had repeatedly violated the righteous law of God, written in their hearts; and having thus rejected the visitations of Divine Light and Love, they centered in this dark, bewildered state. Yet I felt fervent desires for their restoration, through deep humiliation and repentance. After a short communication to this class, I sat down in poverty of spirit. The importance of appointing meetings was brought to my view, but I endeavored after inward stillness and resignation, and saw that it would not do to give way to discouragements, even in seasons of pinching poverty and need.

The evening was spent at Jordan Frost’s, whose wife deceased a year ago, leaving five children, who felt very near to me. In an opportunity of silent waiting, several Friends being present, the Lord renewedly visited my soul with his love and life-giving presence; the spirit of supplication was poured upon me, and we were comforted and edified together. Blessed be his name forever.

16th. Rode to R. Hart’s, at Rhinebeck; and in the evening had a religious opportunity with his family, a young woman being there who had been sick near three weeks; several other young people were also present. I was led to set before them the great advantages of early piety, and the uncertainty of earthly enjoyments, such as life, health, substance etc. They were earnestly and affectionately entreated to devote the prime of their days to the Lord’s service, by bearing the yoke in their youth, and assured that in so doing great would be their peace.

Next day we rode to Hudson and lodged at John Alsop’s. Poverty of spirit still attends me; but the fervent desire of my soul is, that the Lord may enable me to endure his all-wise allotments, and preserve me through heights and depths, until my warfare is accomplished. Rested here till First-day, the 19th, when near meeting time, I felt the sweet spring of life to flow, and my spirit was contrited and melted into tenderness. Fervent have been my supplications to the Most High, to endue me with patience and resignation to his blessed will; and he has brought me into such a state that I feel content in his all-wise disposal. I attended Hudson meeting in peaceful silence. Then went on through Claverick to Klinckill.

1st month, 20th. Attended a meeting appointed there, in which was measurably favored with the over shadowing of heavenly good. Under its blessed influence I had something to communicate; and when I felt the gentle current of life to stop, I sat down in peace. After dinner, had an opportunity with the family, and parted in near affection. From there to Little Britain, where next day we had a meeting, in which Divine help was afforded to preach the gospel. Although I do not feel the aboundings of heavenly life and virtue for some days past, in so eminent a manner as in several meetings on the west side of the river, yet the Lord knows what is best for me. Being about to set out from the friend’s house where we dined, I felt my mind turned towards his numerous family, and several others who were not members. In this religious opportunity I felt particularly concerned for a state, that had widely deviated from the truth, also to encourage the thirsty soul to trust in the Lord. After we came away, I was informed of a person there who had been disowned for reproachful conduct.

We went on about two miles, and visited a widow and her daughter; then to Reuben Barned’s, where, in the evening, we had a precious, refreshing season, with the family. My soul was bowed in deep humility and reverence before the Most High, who thus favored me, after proving my faith and love for a number of days. Next day, on our way toward East Hoosack, we called at the house of a Baptist, where I had some religious conversation with his wife, to my satisfaction. I gave her my reasons for travelling in this inclement season, being in a poor state of health, namely, duty to my God, and love and good will to the people; apprehending myself called upon to publish the glad tidings of the gospel, without money and without price. She remarked with respect to my poor state of health, that we did not serve a hard master; intimating a doubt whether it could be required of one in such a weak state of health to travel so far. I told her he was a good master; he rewarded me with the sweet incomes of his love; and that was an abundant compensation for my labor and toil under affliction. She appeared to be a thoughtful person, and very kindly invited us to stay all night. I recommended her to the Word nigh in the heart, whereby she might know deliverance from evil, and a growth in a state of favor with the Almighty.

23rd. Had a very trying meeting at East Hoosack. But at length a way opened to relieve my mind, beginning with the words of the apostle, “Let him that thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall.” I mentioned my belief that there were some present, who, through unwatchfulness, had very much lost that savor of Divine love which once seasoned their spirits; and, having left their first love, and chosen this present world, blindness had come upon them. But by bringing their deeds to the Light, and walking in it, such was the compassion of Him with whom we have to do, that they might yet be restored, and brought again into his favor. It further appeared to me, that there were too many who were preferring the world and the things of it, to that treasure which is durable and heavenly, and will stand the soul in stead when done with time here.

Feeling desirous of seeing the widow and children of that faithful servant of the Lord, Robert Nesbit, who had been dead several years, we went there, and had a comfortable season; she having joined Friends since the decease of her husband. From there we went to see an ancient man, about eighty-five years of age, who had been a member of the Baptist society, but had lately left them, and inclined to Friends, acknowledging that what he had formerly been building and depending on, he now found insufficient, and appeared in a tender state of mind.

24th. Rode to Pittstown in a sleigh, which greatly fatigued me. On taking a view of my weak state of body, I was ready to conclude nature must yield, I looked toward my dissolution, if it should please the Lord to bring it about in these northern parts, separate from my dear wife and children, and felt an undisturbed evidence that it would be well with me; although, for a few moments, the thoughts of being thus separated from my nearest connections, was trying. But good is the Lord, and worthy to be served; he makes hard things easy, and bitter things sweet, and can reconcile all dispensations to the soul that stands singly devoted to him.

26th. Attended Pittstown meeting, where in a gentle spring of life I labored among the people. Truth has not arisen into such dominion in meetings since I came this side the North river, as I have often witnessed; but I desire to be resigned. For, unless the quickening power of the Holy Spirit influence my heart to preach the gospel, I have long been confirmed that every attempt, without it, will be utterly unavailable. It would be but a dead form of words, which possibly might amuse itching ears, but would not reach the witness of Truth in the hearts of the people, nor stir up the pure mind, by way of remembrance, of the things which belong to their peace.

28th. Was at an appointed meeting at White Creek where many attended, who were not of our Society. After near an hour’s silent waiting I felt my heart refreshed with the master’s presence, and labored honestly with the lukewarm and careless professors, in the ability given; had also a few words of encouragement to the rightly exercised traveller. Then went on to Nathan Eddy’s, at Easton, and felt recruited in my bodily strength.

I have been made sensible, from day to day, of the great loss many sustain, through the inordinate love of the lawful things of this world. Oh! the need of more living members; such whose love to Truth exceeds that of every other object. I believe this is the state into which all might come. But alas! blindness in part has happened, and it will continue, unless the Lord’s visited children faithfully follow the Holy Guide, and diligently attend to the instructions of the Spirit of Truth, so as to obtain victory over every hurtful, hindering thing.

30th. Attended Easton week-day meeting, in silence and much suffering of spirit. But in a family opportunity afterwards I was favored with the renewal of heart-tendering goodness; under the influence of which I was led to exhort to a firm trust and reliance upon the Lord our God, endeavoring patiently to bear his all-wise dispensations: for according to his wisdom, he lifts up the poor and needy; and again lays them low, as in the dust. He opens and none can shut. He shuts and none can open. His works are works of wonder; causing admiration and praise in those who faithfully follow him. I have often found the enemy, in low, stripping seasons, endeavoring to depress my spirits below the Divine standard. But I have always found as I waited for him in patience, that the Beloved of my soul would again appear to my refreshment, and great consolation; even from my very young and tender years, unto this day. Oh! magnified and praised be the name of the Lord, for his mercies endure forever.

Toward evening, we crossed the North river, and lodged at Isaac Leggett’s, at Saratoga; and the day following, passed by the noted medical springs, on our way to Greenfield, where we had a comfortable meeting. Life arose into dominion, and my soul rejoiced in reverent thankfulness to the Author of all good, who enabled me to bear testimony to the power and efficacy of his Spirit, the manifestation of which is given to every man to profit withal. Went that evening, through a snow storm, to Galway.

2nd of 2nd month, being first of the week, were at Galway meeting. Soon after I sat down, I felt Truth rise, in a precious degree, affording a comfortable hope of a good meeting. After waiting, I suppose about half an hour, under the sweet influence of Divine love, I believed it required of me, to bear a public testimony among the people; but had not proceeded many minutes, before I found my way closing up—that Divine power, which is the proper qualification for a gospel minister, abating, I took my seat, unexpectedly to myself, and I believe to many others; not daring to utter words without life.

This meeting, I apprehend sustained great loss by the unsettlement occasioned by frequently going to the fires to warm, shuffling of the children’s feet etc. Near the close I informed them how it had been with me, and recommended these practices to their serious consideration, which afforded some relief.

Lodged at Philip Mackumber’s, whose wife and son, above two years ago, as they were returning from meeting, both on one horse, were killed by the falling of a tree on them, during a high wind; the horse also was killed. An awful circumstance. Before leaving this family, we had a heart tendering season with them.

From Galway, we rode to Ball-town, where very few members of our Society reside. Here we had a small, and exercising meeting; in which I said a few words, and mourned in secret on account of the departure of some from Truth’s preserving power. We returned to our lodgings, and before we parted, had a comfortable opportunity in the Friend’s family. The Lord condescended to lift up the light of his countenance upon us. He promised me, by his inspeaking Word in my soul, before I left home, that in all places wheresoever he should lead me, he would be with me; and he has graciously thus far fulfilled his promise. Blessed be his name.

Most of the meetings since I first crossed the North river, have been trying and laborious; yet before I have left the neighborhoods, through the Lord’s goodness, my heart has been sweetly tendered and comforted, in families where my lot has been cast. I have thought my services in meetings have been very small indeed, and have been ready to marvel at my being sent forth in the work of visiting meetings; yet when I have remembered the condescending love of my Heavenly Father, in favoring me with his presence, enabling me to declare of his goodness, and to exhort my dear friends, in their families, to a faithful dedication of heart to his service—as also to encourage the honest, upright traveller towards Zion, to hold on his way, it has been enough. My soul is satisfied, and can praise him, even for leading me in such an exercising path. Let me be united unto you, O Lord my God, and devoted to you, while I have a being.

2nd month, 4th. When I rose in the morning, felt very poor in spirit, yet could say, “Your will be done.” In this state, set out to the week-day meeting at Saratoga, and both on the road and in the meeting Divine love filled my heart, enabling me to praise the name of the Lord, and to breathe to him for preservation. The sweet savor of life thus mercifully attending and increasing, was a great comfort to me, as an evidence that God still owned me. Oh how great is his goodness, and ever worthy to be trusted. After this meeting we visited some families, and had comfortable opportunities of waiting upon the Lord—a little bread being broken, and handed forth, whereby we were refreshed. Blessed be the Helper of Israel, says my soul.

2nd month, 5th. Were at a meeting, appointed at Newtown, or Half-Moon Valley, where many attended; but I was shut up as to the ministry. Just at the close I stood up and said, “I have no doubt, it appears strange to some, that a meeting should be appointed, and held in silence. It was no premeditated thing; but unless the spirit and power of God authorize and qualify to utter gospel truths, the body—the church, cannot be edified; and we judge it best, when that is lacking, to worship in solemn silence.”

Next day, we rode forty miles, crossing the Mohawk on the ice, and came to Coeyman’s Patent. Felt poverty almost all this day, and was looking for my way to close up, and to return home. I have mourned over the low state of society, in many places, as to the life of religion. The eager desire after wealth operates greatly against its progress, and chokes the good seed of the kingdom. I have beheld its destructive effects, in many who possess but little of this world’s riches, but who are earnestly striving after an increase thereof. This disposition strongly indulged, most assuredly hinders the soul’s growth in the Divine life. The doctrines of the gospel are utterly opposed to covetousness, and experience abundantly proves, that as the mind becomes absorbed in the pursuit of worldly mammon, it becomes weak in its love to him, who of right demands an entire dedication and obedience from his creature man. No partial yielding of the affections will serve—no division of the heart between him and the creatures, will be acceptable. In the truly regenerate soul, the language is, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life that I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the son of God.”

Oh! blessed, happy state! Dwell here, O my soul. And you who have enlisted under the Lamb’s banner, rest not satisfied short of a pure union of soul with your Creator; so that, through a perfect submission to his will in all things, you may know him become your “all in all:” and, as the clay, be formed and fashioned by him, the heavenly Potter, to show forth his praise.

9th. Having rested one day, I attended the meeting at Coeyman’s, being First-day. The Lord helped me to discharge my duty, as a watchman, toward several states present. Next day, crossed the North river on the ice, to Hudson. It was a day of much poverty of spirit; under which the language of my soul was, O Lord, I freely give you my heart. Thine it is, without reserve. Command me, and I will obey your voice. Let neither things present, nor things to come, separate me from your love. The day following we rode about forty miles, to Paul Upton’s, near Creek meeting, which we attended next day in suffering silence. I had secretly to mourn over the desolations of a worldly spirit. Great have been the exercises of my soul, for some time past, on this account. Oh! this subtle adversary of man’s happiness! How artful the stratagems which beguile the traveller, even in the lawful things of this world, when the soul cannot be enticed into gross evils. How many perish in the wilderness, for lack of obediently cleaving to their spiritual Guide, the Light of Christ within them, which leads its faithful followers through the wilderness into the promised land.

But Oh! the dangers, even to the visited and enlightened mind, by looking for relief from the things of this life, in times of trial and besetment. These are the seasons for the soul to stand firm, or go forward toward perfection. Sufficient is that Almighty power who first visited it, to carry on the work of redemption, and enable the dedicated mind to conquer sin and Satan. For, by submitting to the death of the cross, every thought, word, and action, which has its origin from the corrupt root, will be crucified and slain; and instead thereof, new thoughts, new desires, and heavenly affections will be restored. Old things being thus done away, all things become new, and all things of God.

O my God, carry on your work in my soul! Let me be yours, in time and in eternity. Enable me to bear stormy, wintry seasons, so that my faith may be immoveable. Permit me not to give out, when my poor soul is tried with pinching poverty, when all around looks dark and gloomy. Oh! then, in times of extremity, be pleased to arise, and cause your heavenly light to dispel the darkness; that so my soul may be brought forth, magnifying your holy name, and rejoicing in your goodness, which hitherto has been vouchsafed to me.

In the afternoon had a favored, strengthening season, with the family of Paul Upton, and some others; in which I was largely and livingly drawn forth to several states present, to the contriting of our spirits together. After which, rode to Nine Partners, and lodged at Isaac Thorne’s. Next morning felt very empty and poor, and passed several hours under deep exercise of mind. But as my eye was kept single to my God, he looked down upon me in my distress, and again lifted up the light of his countenance; so that my heart was contrited before him.

Having passed through deep and inexpressible exercise of soul, I found my God had a purpose in it, even to prepare me for further service. And when he saw it was enough, he visited my soul afresh, and caused my heart to sing for joy. Marvellous was the change! When a language sweetly and livingly ran through my mind, You must visit your brethren and sisters of this meeting, in their families, as way may open in the light. With this intimation, the cloud was removed, his life-giving presence shined gloriously upon my tabernacle, and removed all my fears. Oh! the sweetness of his love! It was as precious ointment, after my sore conflicts of spirit. I laid up this concern in my heart, and went to meeting, under a humbling sense of the Lord’s goodness. Being strengthened by his grace, I was favored to utter gospel truths, I trust to the edification of some present; and my soul was satisfied, and I praised God. At the close of the meeting, I communicated my concern to visit families, unto the elders, and they united therewith, which was a confirmation to me of its rectitude. In the afternoon we visited Friends’ boarding school at Nine Partners. I spent about half an hour in the boys’ department, and was much pleased with the order and government maintained among them, as well as the proficiency of many in useful learning. When I first went into the room, and beheld the boys, the language of my heart was, The Lord bless the lads.

Afterwards we went into the girls’ school, where several samples of their writing and arithmetic were shown me. As I was viewing them with satisfaction, unexpectedly I felt the power of Truth arising in my heart, and bringing me into awful silence and contrition of spirit; insomuch that tears trickled down my face. It being near the time of closing school, the superintendent directed the girls to lay by their employments. While we sat in silence, the spirit of supplication came upon me, and it was a tendering season, both to myself and several of the children. Afterwards, I communicated a few sentences to them, desiring they might be preserved low and humble, walking in the Truth, and then the blessing of the Lord would rest upon them.

I left the school with great satisfaction, desiring that the children might grow in grace, and in the saving knowledge of the Truth, as they improved in useful learning to qualify them for business, in this world. We had also a precious opportunity in the evening, in the family of Isaac Thorne, where we lodged.

2nd month, 22nd. Have been pretty diligently engaged in visiting the families of Friends, of this meeting; and have had some laborious seasons, in some families, where there has been a lack of living near the Truth, but in others, where they dwell under its precious influence, have been divinely comforted. This day we visited dear Mary Griffin, a lively minister, in the ninetieth year of her age. We had a precious, heart tendering opportunity together. She is lively and green, now in her advanced age;—attends meetings, at three miles distance, going on horseback: and when there, is frequently favored with a living testimony. She performed a religious visit to the Cohoez country, in her eighty-second year, and travelled on horseback by computation between five and six hundred miles. I was truly glad of the visit to this handmaid of the Lord, and blessed his Holy name on her behalf, who had preserved her thus far through her pilgrimage, to his praise.

23rd. Attended the evening meeting, at the boarding school; which was eminently owned with the Lord’s presence. In much brokenness and contrition of spirit, I was livingly drawn forth in the power of the gospel, which flowed in a copious manner, mostly towards the young women, and those advancing near that state; among whom great tenderness appeared. It was a precious watering season: and I believe some of them will long remember the blessed opportunity. My soul was bowed as in the dust, under a grateful, humbling sense of the Lord’s goodness, and filled with living praises, to his name through the power of his grace.

Oh! the longings of my soul, on behalf of the children generally, that they might be kept from evil, and brought into an acquaintance with silent worship, in their young and tender years—a mystery hid from ages and generations! But glory to God in the highest, who has raised up, in this and the last century, a host of witnesses, who by giving up their hearts to be wrought upon, and disposed according to his holy will, have livingly experienced, in silent meetings, an abstraction from all worldly objects, and a being centered in him. In this state of holy sequestration, they are at times filled with Divine love, by which they are enabled to worship the Father in spirit and in truth, as he may be pleased to influence them; sometimes in holy admiration at the wonders of his love, mercy, and goodness; or in contemplating, with awfulness, upon the greatness of his power and majesty; at other times, they are bowed before the throne of grace, in the deepest prostration, interceding with the Father of mercies for themselves, and for the whole bulk of mankind, that the blessing of preservation may attend them. Again, they are filled with spiritual songs, singing, making melody, in their hearts unto the Lord. They also know, from living experience, that all this may be performed, without a word being vocally uttered—yes, they know what it is to sit together in heavenly places, and to be satisfied with the goodness of the Lord. Here, they enjoy communion with the Father, and with the son, spiritually eating of that bread which comes down from God out of heaven, and drinking the new wine of the kingdom, to their unspeakable refreshment.

Many blessed and glorious seasons has my soul enjoyed, in solemn silence. Blessed be the Lord, who has made me a witness and partaker thereof. Every day of my life, my spirit is exercised in silent worship; and I hope never to depart from this indispensable duty to my God; and when by his Spirit, he draws me either to preach or praise, in a vocal manner, may I ever obey him: and may I never attempt either, without his sacred influence. Amen.

3rd month, 8th. This day, finished the family visit to Friends, amounting to ninety-five families of members; and ten more, part of which were such as were inclining to Friends; and part consisting of such as had been disowned. The labor has been arduous, and very trying, in several places; though at other times we were favored as with a brook by the way, and enabled to praise the Lord for his goodness. Next day attended Nine Partners meeting, and the day following went on to Chesnut Ridge, accompanied by my dear friend Trip Mosher, who was with us through most of the family visit. On the 11th, had a meeting at this place, which was comfortably owned. Next day, attended Oswego week-day meeting, and returned to Nine Partners, desirous to sit once more with Friends there, before my return home. The day following, was at their week-day meeting, in which my spirit was refreshed, and I offered something among them, which was to my humiliation. Next morning went to the boarding school to take leave of the heads of the family there, also to Isaac Thorne’s. At both places my heart was contrited, and the Lord in his goodness owned us together with his blessed presence, to the praise of his holy name.

16th. Being first day, I was at Amawalk meeting. Here, the Lord in his mercy, favored me with his living presence, and was to me mouth and wisdom, tongue and utterance. Blessed be his name. In the 11th month last, it was twenty-one years, since I was at this meeting. I then uttered a few words there in public testimony for the first time, being in the twenty-first year of my age. A short time after which, I appeared in meetings, twice more; and then felt no concern of this kind, until the thirtieth year of my age. I believe it was so ordered in Divine wisdom, and it had a very humbling effect on my mind; until at length the Lord saw fit frequently to engage me to open my mouth in public testimony for Truth, and to declare of his goodness, and of his dealings with my soul.

Next day we rode to Croton, and had a meeting in the evening at Robert Underhill’s, which was in a good degree favored with the master’s presence. The day following, being stormy, and I somewhat indisposed, kept house. 16th, set out towards King’s Ferry, but was taken unwell on the road, and returned back to Croton. Next day I was so far recovered as to attend the week-day meeting there, in which I had some public service. But my disorder continuing, and seeing no way to cross the North river, on account of the ice, my mind was drawn to attend Shappaqua meeting, which on First-day, the 23rd, we were at, and my lot was suffering silence; being poorly in body and mind, much stripped of the sensible enjoyment of the Beloved of my soul, and my faith closely proved. But in the afternoon, several Friends being present, in a season of retirement together, the Lord’s presence was felt; my heart was melted with his goodness, and it was a refreshing season.

24th. I rode to my kinsman, Jacob Underhill’s, where I resided about twenty months when I was a lad, it being in the time of the troubles in America. It was a comfort to me, once more to see him and his wife, with whom I had formerly lived in much love and harmony. Here I remained several days, much confined to the house on account of indisposition.

28th. Attended Shappaqua week-day meeting, in silence. On the 30th was at a meeting appointed at Sing Sing, among other professors, where I had considerable openness, and found relief. Next day, was again at Shappaqua meeting, where, I hope, my labors tended to stir up the pure mind. Afterwards visited a sick friend, and had a comfortable opportunity in the family; having also performed several such visits during last week.

4th month, 2nd. Had a meeting at Westchester, where a number attended not professing with us. I was exercised in close labor with the careless and luke-warm, and came away in peace. That afternoon rode to New York, and next day home, after an absence of three months and four days. I found my family in usual health, and was joyfully received by them and my friends. Blessed be the Lord for this and all his other mercies towards me.

1804. I have been very much confined these four years past, within the compass of our own Quarterly meeting, and principally in our monthly meeting of Rahway and Plainfield, by reason of bodily indisposition, and a pain and dizziness in my head which has been very afflicting. The Lord knows how much, and what is best for me to endure. I have seen that it is necessary for me to pass through the trials allotted; and if the best life is mercifully preserved, it will be through adorable kindness.

In the 4th month, I attended our Yearly Meeting at Philadelphia, and in the 5th month that at New York, to my satisfaction and comfort. I was enabled to attend nearly all the sittings in both, which I esteemed a great favor.

Having in prospect to take a journey to the Springs at Ballston and Saratoga, on account of my poor state of health, and expecting to be at some meetings in New York State, I obtained a certificate of the concurrence of our monthly meeting, in the 6th month, 1804. On the 27th, accompanied by my dear wife, I left home, and went by way of New York, Purchase, and Shappaqua, where I stayed a few days, visiting our relations, my health being improved. From there went on by way of Amawalk to Nine Partners, and attended meeting there to the relief of my mind: was also at the school meeting with the children, to my comfort. Taking Hudson in our way toward Saratoga, we there met with Ann Alexander, from England, on a religious visit to this country: also attended week-day meeting there, and had a favored, open time.

7th month, 14th. Reached Saratoga, and were kindly received by our friend, Isaac Leggett. Was at Easton meeting on First-day, and attended meetings at Saratoga and Ballston, during about two weeks stay—in which I drank freely of the waters, which, with the change of air, revived me so that I felt considerably better.

29th. Set out homewards, taking meetings at Troy, Albany, and Little Nine Partners; also the Quarterly meeting at Nine Partners, at which were several Friends from Long Island. I had to leave the meeting for discipline, by reason of pain in my head, which greatly increased until one o’clock in the night, being the hardest attack I ever had. Great was my bodily distress. I looked toward my dissolution, and had nothing to struggle with but bodily pain. Blessed be the Lord, nothing appeared in my way. Toward morning, I was relieved by the application of plasters of shoe maker’s wax, made of rosin and tallow, applied to the hollow part of my feet: which I continued to use with great success, for a considerable time.

11th month, 28th, 1805. I have passed through much distress and pain of body for a considerable time past, so that I have been able to attend but few meetings. Was today at our week-day meeting, which was greatly blessed to me; and when I have not been able to get out through indisposition, the Lord has condescended to favor me with his life-giving presence, while waiting upon him in reverential silence. I have been learning to be content in all conditions, ascribing unto him thanksgiving and praise, even for the sharpest afflictions dispensed to me.

For some days past, I have had a renewed, comfortable evidence that my sins are forgiven, and that my soul, through adorable mercy, will be admitted among the redeemed followers of the Lamb, where all sorrow will forever cease.

I am certain man must be a co-worker with the grace of God, otherwise he will have received it in vain. The Holy Spirit may be resisted, quenched, and disobeyed, till man procures his own destruction, But if he yields unreserved obedience to the grace that is given him, it will draw him nearer and nearer unto God. He will experience more and more of the blessed tempers of peace, meekness, and calm resignation, to abound in him, and thus become conformed in all things to the will of his Heavenly Father.

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6th month, 12th, 1811. I resume my pen, after declining to write any account of my life for several years. They have been years of much bodily affliction. I believe I have not been seven miles from home in all that time, until within a month past, but have endeavored to attend our own meeting, when strength admitted; perhaps have been at about one in four in that space of time.

I now come to a relation of the most afflictive part of my life—the loss of my dearly beloved wife. She had been afflicted with an asthmatic cough for more than ten years; but no alarming symptoms appeared until the 2nd month, 1810, when she took a severe cold, which greatly reduced her strength. After being confined nearly three months, she grew better, so that in the course of last summer she attended four meetings, though still very weak. Cold weather coming on, her disorder increased, until she became seriously ill.

During her sickness, many precious words proceeded from her mouth; frequently saying, “All is well with me.” And again, “All will be well with me. I feel that which satisfies me.” One day, as I was sitting by her, she said, “Give my dear love in the gospel, to all my dear friends, and tell them, all will be well with me.” A few days before her death, her voice being very low through weakness, I queried what kind of drink she would have; she then spoke audibly thus: “I want to be within the walls of the New Jerusalem.” The same day, on a similar occasion, she said, “I want to be in heaven.” In the morning she told me the Lord had been very gracious to her, the preceding night.

Throughout her sickness, she was much retired, waiting upon the Lord, expressing her desires to be resigned to his will, and that she was in no wise alarmed at the prospect of death. She said her greatest trial was, to leave me in such a poor state of health; but had no doubts of the Lord’s protecting care over me; and hoped we should meet again, never more to part. And when she understood that I was enabled to resign her up, she said it increased her joy.

She gave much excellent advice, on several important subjects, to several Friends who came to see her; particularly to parents, urging the necessity of bringing up their children in plainness, consistent with our holy profession, and showing the duty incumbent on them to restrain them, when suitable advice and counsel were rejected.

She departed this life, the 14th of the 2nd month, 1811, in a blissful state of mind, without a groan or struggle, in the fifty-fifth year of her age; and I have not the least doubt has entered into that glorious kingdom of rest, prepared for the righteous. I have often blessed the Lord, who brought us together, for giving me so precious a companion; and now, for wise purposes, has taken her from me. May the aid of his Holy Spirit be mercifully granted me, to bear up my soul under this trying dispensation.

Having been for several months, much confined to the house with the pain and distress in my head, which I had labored under for more than thirty years, and which had increased for the last ten or twelve years, a few weeks before the death of my dear wife, my right eye began to be very painful. A high state of inflammation ensued, and the pain was excruciating, comparable, I thought, to a pin being run through the ball. Through the violence of my distress I slept scarcely any for several days and nights, till nature seemed almost exhausted. At length there was a great discharge of water from it day and night; and when I got a little sleep, my eye-lids would stick together, confining the watery humour, so that I soon awoke in extreme misery, with the pain. Ten weeks passed in this deeply trying condition, and I had persons to watch with me for near four of them; having discovered that when I slept but one hour at a time, my eye-lids were more easily separated, and a smaller quantity of water collected, so as to occasion less pain.

During this affliction, the distress in my head was often so great that it unfitted me for calmly waiting upon my God, for the renewal of my strength. I had passed through scenes of great bodily affliction before, but now it seemed more than doubled upon me. My soul was also depressed, and I cried unto the Lord, and said, “O Lord, you know that I love you above all visible enjoyments. Support my poor soul, and let me not perish, I beseech you.” Sometimes however, I was favored with the presence of my God, for a short season; but most of the time I felt a sense of great desertion. But as the dispensations of the Almighty are most wise, and, I believe, intended for good; so I desire to improve thereby, and trust that, sooner or later, substantial benefit will be produced.

In about six weeks after the death of my wife, I was able to walk to the street door—the pain left my eye, though the sight was impaired—and the distress and dizziness in my head very much abated, supposed to be by reason of the discharge of water from my eyes, so that my sufferings from that source became less than they had been for some years. Having, heretofore, found great benefit from a sail up the North river, as soon as my strength of body permitted, being about the middle of the 5th month, I went to New York, and from there on board a boat going to Newburgh, my kind friend J. N. accompanying me.

We were set ashore at New Cornwall landing, and went to visit my dear friend, David Sands. Also attended Cornwall week-day meeting, which was a heavenly time to me, not having been at a meeting for nearly five months. I likewise stayed meeting there on First-day following; and notice having been spread, considerable many attended. The Lord was with me, as in days past; and strengthened my soul with heavenly might, to sound forth his salvation.

20th of 5th month, in company with David Sands, I returned to New York, by boat, and attended meetings there on fourth and fifth days, in which I felt Divine help in a precious degree attend my soul, and was renewedly strengthened and animated, after months of almost constant depression of spirit. The loss of my much loved companion, and extreme bodily misery, had almost overwhelmed me; but through these severe trials, the Lord, the mighty God alone, preserved me from sinking into despair. Let living praises be ascribed to his most adorable and glorious name. I also attended several sittings of the Yearly Meeting, and was much comforted, in the company of many dear friends, collected from different and distant parts.

The 1st of the 6th month I came home, and for several days, felt sensibly benefitted by the journey, with an increase of appetite and strength. I attended our meeting on First-day morning; and next day, visited several of my neighbors and friends, to my comfort. Shortly after, I was attacked with a rheumatic affection, that prevented my getting out much, for some time. I have had much of this disorder, for a number of years; and have thought the distress in my head, though originating from a broken skull, when I was a child, was often increased by the rheumatism.

Of latter time, I have had some glorious seasons of Divine enjoyment, wherein all fear of death has been taken away, with a belief that my name is written in the Lamb’s book of life; so that sometimes I have found it difficult to suppress desires to be released from the conflicts of mortality, before the allotted time. May the Lord of heaven continue to preserve my tribulated soul, through the few remaining days appointed me, until my warfare is accomplished, and my spirit divinely prepared to join with angels and archangels, in ascribing glory, honor and praise, unto Him that sits upon the throne, and unto the Lamb forever more. Amen.

7th month, 2nd. This morning, on reflecting upon my past life, I was ready to conclude, that in bearing a faithful testimony against the spirit of the world, particularly as manifest in the pride of life, it had been among the greatest trials of my life. For many years I was, on this account, straitened in my business. When extraordinary prospects of obtaining wealth were presented, I was under the necessity of declining them, for the sake of sweet, heavenly peace of mind. Many have been my straits; deep and painful my provings. I have been a spectacle to angels and to men; few, very few, to strengthen my hands. Yet the eternal God has been my refuge; and the little “meal in the barrel,” and the “oil in the cruise,” have not failed. I frequently think that half an hour in heaven will richly compensate for a life of many afflictions and trials.

7th month, 3rd. Many years of my life, beginning at the age of nineteen, I was not free to use West India sugar and molasses, nor to trade, therein. But for several years past have felt more liberty to use those articles, on account of my very poor state of health. I much desire that Friends may attend to their religious scruples and the mind of Truth herein; and by all means do that which will make for their peace; not too implicitly following the example of others herein, but weighing the subject in the balance of truth and righteousness, manifested in their own hearts. Thus will they be wisely directed what to choose, and what to refuse; and how to support the testimony of Truth in their own particular. Several other kinds of produce, raised by the labor of the unhappy and degraded slaves, are marked as connected with the gain of oppression. Wisdom, pure wisdom, will instruct the rightly concerned how far to go, and where to draw the line. Faith may be tried—love may be proved; but the great object must be kept in view, to do the things that will make for peace.

It is cause of thankfulness, that the great trade to Africa for slaves is abolished, both in Great Britain, and in these American states. Behold, how great a blessing has resulted from the exercise and faithful labors of (at first) a very few individuals of our society, whose hearts were deeply affected with the cruel oppression of that people.

9th month, 12th. 1812. I again take up the pen to give some further account of my life. During last winter I was confined at home, about two weeks, through indisposition; being ill with a fever. Towards spring a concern weightily attended my mind, that as soon as health admitted, I must appoint meetings in several places, within a few miles of Rahway. Accordingly I had four such meetings, and was laid by for some time with the rheumatism—when I recovered, I appointed three more. All of which were satisfactory, favored opportunities, except one. The people appeared solid and satisfied, and my soul was renewedly strengthened to praise the Lord. Soon after, I went to New York and Westchester, by water, and was at several meetings, much to my comfort. Afterwards was at Flushing on Long Island, and stayed near a week attending meetings. Then returned home, and in a short time after went to Philadelphia, and to see my son, about four miles further. Attended Arch street meeting in the city, and was strengthened to publish the gospel of salvation. Oh! the precious savor that attended me, when I was led to declare liberty to the captive, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound. The mourners in Zion were comforted, and a precious remnant, who are near to my life, were encouraged to confide in the name and power of Israel’s God.

A few days after the meeting, I left my son’s in order to return home; but suffered much bodily pain and fatigue in the journey: so that after arriving at my own habitation, I was confined to my bed, most of the time for five days.

The prospect of having meetings among those not of our society continuing with me, and increasing, I left home the 11th of the 1st month, 1813, and had several appointed meetings from among Friends, at and about New Brunswick, Scotch Plains, and several other places, this concern spreading more extensively than I had before known. Various of these were favored opportunities, there being great openness to hear gospel truths declared. After I returned home, a woman, who lived near our village, sent an invitation to me to attend the burial of her husband and preach a funeral sermon. I returned answer, that I never had gone to a meeting with intention to preach there; it was inconsistent with my ideas of the ministry to take thought beforehand what to say to the people. I however, attended the funeral; a holy solemnity prevailed;—the gospel of Christ was preached freely, and Truth reigned gloriously. A number of Methodists were present, and several of them expressed satisfaction with my communication. May the Lord have the praise; to whom only it is due. In his lovingkindness he has divinely aided me in all those meetings, which were appointed in his fear. To him I desire to devote the residue of my days, for he is worthy to be served and adored forever.

In the 4th month, I concluded again to take a sail up the North river, for the benefit of my health. It also appeared to me that a further service for Truth, would be required of me, in the journey by the appointment of meetings from place to place, among those not of our society. As I gave up to this concern, a precious, heavenly tranquillity pervaded my mind, and a quietude, that human reason was utterly incompetent to produce, attended me. Before I became resigned to this prospect, my mind had been much distressed from various causes and circumstances; but now they were not permitted to annoy me. Blessed be the name of the Lord, which is indeed a strong tower.

In company with my dear friend Henry Shotwell, and with the unity of our friends at home, set out the 1st of the 5th month, and got on board a boat bound for Sing-Sing, where we landed the next afternoon. On the voyage, had some very interesting religious conversation with some of the passengers, who I believed had been with Jesus, spiritually. The Lord’s children are made near and dear to each other, although they frequently differ with respect to the outward forms of religion, and may have adopted different modes of worshipping the Sovereign of heaven and earth. Oh that all might labor to feel after God, if happily they may find him, a teacher in their hearts. How many glorious, heavenly seasons, would many enjoy, were they enough watchful unto prayer, Mental prayer—entering into the closet, and shutting to the door of the heart—introduces the soul into the presence of an omnipresent Being; who would often condescend to bless with the overshadowing of his love, if he was sufficiently sought and waited upon; and thus would enable us to offer up living prayers and praises unto him the living God who is ever worthy.

Next day, though very poorly, I attended Shappaqua meeting, to my great consolation. The Lord’s power arose, and strengthened me in body and mind. Praised be his holy name. In the evening of the 3rd, had a meeting in the Presbyterian meetinghouse, at Sing-Sing. I believe I stood near two hours, and the people were very attentive. After meeting, the priest used some expressions which indicated he thought our meeting held too long; but a considerable number of his hearers were so much dissatisfied with his reflections on us, that they left him in disgust, signifying that they could have been willing to stay at our meeting all night.

I continued in these parts about nineteen days, appointing meetings in villages, and other places; was also at four meetings of Friends. I was often very unwell, but the power of the Lord strengthened me, at times, in a manner I had never before experienced. The gospel was preached, I trust, to the warning of some and the comforting of others. Truth was in dominion, and my soul magnified the Lord, who was a present helper in the needful time. I may here note that during this journey, I have had a longer respite from the distressing feelings in my head, than for eight or nine years before; and I ascribe it to the Lord’s goodness, marvellous in my eyes. But I have been learning to be thankful, as well for the most trying dispensations of his providence, as for the greatest comforts that ever my soul enjoyed. Oh! that I may ever abide here; as I don’t conclude, by any means, that I am out of the reach of danger, but am sensible the holy watch must be kept up, during my continuance here in this probationary state.

On the 22nd of the 5th month, I returned to New York by water, in company with several Friends, on their way to the Yearly Meeting. I felt a concern to have a meeting on board the sloop with the passengers, several who were not members being present, and a good season it was. I stayed in New York, and attended nearly all the sittings of the Yearly Meeting. It was a comfortable, favored meeting, and I was strengthened with my dear friends. Oh! how precious is that love which unites the Lord’s children, when met together and when separated, they are as epistles, written on one another’s hearts, which neither length of time, nor distance of place, can erase.

About a week after my return home, I felt a concern to appoint a meeting at New Brunswick. It was held in the courthouse, in the evening. The Presbyterian priest and about one hundred and forty of the inhabitants attended; and it was a blessed, good meeting. The prejudices of people in this place are much removed, and they are much more disposed to attend our meetings than was the case some years ago. I am sometimes induced to believe there will be a meeting of Friends in this city, there being now about seven families and parts of families of Friends there.

During the 6th month, I appointed several meetings with those not of our society; one about two miles from our village, another at Westfield, about five miles: also, one at Woodbridge, and was at a meeting at Bound Brook appointed by E. K. of Philadelphia. Most of these were held in the Presbyterian meeting houses, and I had conversation with several of their priests to my satisfaction. The 3rd of 7th month, had a meeting at Metutching, where there never had been a Friends’ meeting held. By desire of the priest, it was held in the Presbyterian meetinghouse; I don’t remember that I ever enjoyed the Divine presence in so eminent a degree in any meeting I ever appointed, as in this. The glorious gospel was preached to several states, and honor and praise were ascribed unto God most high. The priest, at whose house I took some refreshment, was very kind, and said he hoped what had been communicated would prove a blessing to his congregation. He has been a remarkably exercised man, and I am told, does not feel free to study his sermons.

7th month, 20th. I was led to devote more time than usual in my chamber, in waiting upon God; who was graciously pleased, after some days veiling his presence in a great measure from my soul, to appear again in glorious power, enabling me to praise his Divine Majesty, in awful, reverential silence.

29th. My old disorder of pain and dizziness in my head, has returned, as severe as ever, so that I have found it very difficult, at times, to keep my mind stayed upon the Lord. But he has not left me comfortless; no—his arm has wrought my salvation. I have no wish to have my health otherwise. An all merciful God is my helper; he makes hard things easy, and bitter things sweet. In him will I put my trust.

Yesterday, I wrote the following letter to a young woman in poor health—her disorder thought to be a consumption, now making a rapid progress.

Rahway, 7th mo. 28th, 1813.

My Dear Friend.

Being lately informed that you were in very ill health, and not having it in my power to visit you personally, as I am confined to my bed, with much bodily pain and great weakness, I thought best to address you with a few lines, in the love of the gospel; desiring that the present afflictive dispensation of Divine Providence, may be submitted to in humility, patience, and resignation.

Oh! what an unspeakable blessing will redound to your soul, from the present bitter cup of affliction, if you humble yourself before the Lord, and implore the aid of his grace to enable you to do his blessed will. Thus you may bring glory to him, by doing those things which are well pleasing in his sight. For the Lord your God is willing to strengthen your weak endeavors to serve him.

I have no doubt, dear friend, that your mind has been, at times, very seriously affected in viewing the progress of your disorder. But how many poor creatures are taken out of time, and scarce a moment’s warning allowed them to prepare for an endless state; their conduct, when in health, being such as dishonored the Lord! You have time; and you have a merciful Creator, who is willing to help you. Avail yourself of the high favor conferred on you. Resign yourself to his will as much as is in your power. Be faithful to every intimation of duty, made known to you.

Thus, as you submit your will, and resign yourself unto the Lord your God, he will bring you by a way that you knew not, and lead you in paths that you have not known. He will make darkness light before you, and you will know, by blessed experience, that “these light afflictions, which are but for a moment,” will work for you “a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” I feel much solicitude that the present trial may be blessed and sanctified to you. Oh! wait upon the Lord; seek him within you; enter the closet of your heart, and pray unto him: there, he is to be found; there his glorious power and presence is to be felt, supporting through all, and blessing every trial of faith and patience, to the confirmation of those who love him.

The common enemy of man may suggest, that you have too long delayed time, that you did not early enough, follow the Guide of your youth, and that he has forsaken you. But believe him not. He loves to discourage every appearance of good. Draw nigh unto God, and I fully believe he will draw nigh unto you, and help you from his holy sanctuary.

With desires for your present and eternal felicity,

I remain your affectionate friend,

Isaac Martin.

The 26th of the 8th month, this dear young woman departed this life, in a comfortable state of mind; having expressed that she had no desire to stay here. On the 28th I attended the funeral. It was a large gathering; in which after being deprived of the opportunity of attending meetings for more than six weeks, the Lord dealt bountifully with me;—filling my heart with heavenly love, and enabling me again publicly to espouse his cause. It was a heart tendering season and I trust, will not soon be forgotten by some.

Next day being First-day, I attended our meeting at Rahway; where after about an hour’s silent waiting on the Lord, in which my mind was sweetly favored with the enjoyment of heavenly good, I thought it right for me to stand up and express these words: “There is a way which seems good unto a man, but the end thereof is death.” I soon felt the withdrawings of life, but could not see my way to close, so stood a few minutes longer, endeavoring to keep my eye to the Lord. But the power of grace and truth not rising, but decreasing, I took my seat.

Afterward my mind became deeply afflicted on account of my offering, and I was ready to wish I had expressed no more than the text above mentioned; knowing the Lord can bless a little as well as much. The idea of ministering to the people, without the precious savor of Divine life attending, has always, since capable of proper reflection on the subject, appeared very awful to me. For although a man may utter the words of Christ, yet if they are not attended with Christ’s spirit, they cannot bring souls to Christ.

The following reflections occurred, on an affecting case of outgoing in marriage.

Oh! the great loss, which we, as a society, have sustained by mixed marriages. Hereby, a foundation has often been laid, for great trouble and sorrow to the parties thus connected. The husband sometimes going to one place of worship, and his wife to another. And if they should be blessed with children, the difficulty then increases. If the parents are religiously concerned, the father often desires the children to attend with him, and the mother with her—each solicitous on account of their children’s welfare, and each partial to their own mode of worship; as if they thought the everlasting welfare of themselves and their children was nearly concerned therein. The solemn engagement, into which the parents have entered of being loving to each other until death, is now brought to the test. May the consideration of these things have timely place on the minds of all concerned in this weighty affair, so as to prevent the evils that otherwise may follow.

In the 10th month, my health being better, I set out to visit Kingwood-meeting and some other places. Was at Kingwood on First-day, where Truth was in dominion. Had also two appointed meetings, one on second day, at the house of a person called Major Everitt, where perhaps sixty people of other societies attended, who appeared solid, and several were seriously affected. The other was at Pottstown, a blessed season; and on fifth day was at their monthly meeting. Then went on to Hardwich, where I had not been for about fourteen years. On First-day was at meeting there, and a precious, heavenly season it was. My God was strength in weakness: he richly compensated me for my bodily suffering in riding here, and Friends were glad to see me once more. Next day, through some difficulty, I reached Mendham, and had a meeting there in the afternoon, which was favored, so that it made up for all the trials in getting to it. The Lord is good;—a never failing helper to all who put their trust in him.

After getting home, I was at meeting a few times, but grew worse in health, so that I was prevented attending meetings for about three-quarters of a year. After which, recovering a little, I felt a concern for the colored people, living within reach of our meetinghouse, where they were collected on First-day afternoon, to a considerable number, I imparted to them such counsel as the Lord enabled me, and felt much relief and comfort in the opportunity.

Soon after, a weighty concern attended my mind on account of a tax on shop keepers, who dealt in foreign articles, to be appropriated towards carrying on the war against England. I felt much scrupulous in my mind, respecting the consistency thereof with our peaceable principles. For about ten years I had kept an apothecary shop; which business suited my inclination and capacity; being from my youth circumscribed, both in shop-keeping and my trade of a hatter, on account of the prevailing fashions. After much seeking to the Lord for counsel and direction, I believed my peace of mind would be affected, if I paid the said tax. So I resigned myself to the Lord’s will, let the event be as it may. But scarcely a day passed, that I had not to turn customers away, who applied for articles which I had on hand, but could not sell, on account of the heavy penalty. But I am well satisfied, feeling the testimony against war to be very precious, and worth suffering for, if thereby the peaceable government of the Messiah may be promoted.

How shocking the carnage and miseries of war! I am informed that within about two years and a half, near fifty thousand lives have been lost in the present wars between this country and England. How awful the reflection, that so many precious souls should be thus hurried into an endless eternity, to meet the Judge of quick and dead! Where shall we find the least spark of Christian love, in the spirit of war? No, a diabolical spirit is the author and promoter thereof; and it tends mightily to strengthen the kingdom of darkness, and to lay waste every Christian virtue, every spark of redeeming grace and love in the souls of those who are instrumental in promoting, or carrying it on. Yet, Oh how lamentable! that those who assume the title of Christ’s ministers should aid in person, and by what is called preaching! Some of whom, if not all, I believe know better than they practise; but the fear of man, or perhaps the loss of their yearly salary, turns the scale of true judgement in their hearts. Thus, the leaders of the people cause them to err, and the blessed cause of truth and righteousness in the earth is frustrated by them.

2nd month, 1815. In looking over my Journal, find I have frequently mentioned my being much indisposed with pain and dizziness in my head; I may here give some account of the cause. Before I was five years old, I fell out of a second story window into the street, and by the fall my skull was broken. A skillful surgeon trepanned me; but as the fracture extended down my head, within about one inch of my eye, he concluded to leave a little of the fracture nearest the eye, without extracting it, apprehending, if he did, I should lose the sight of that eye; but thought I might enjoy pretty good health with leaving it in. It has proved a source of great suffering through life, to the present time. After three or four hours sleep at night, the blood has not circulated freely, and a numbness, with excruciating pain, has often ensued; so that many times I have been unable to rise and dress myself for several hours.

My mind having been impressed for many months with a belief, that my duty to a most gracious Creator constrained me to enter upon the service of appointing meetings in many places, among different societies of professing Christians; I had become so entirely weaned from my home, that I felt it more like a prison to me, than a comfortable habitation. I therefore left it on the 3rd of the 12th month, 1815, being a very cold day, and rode to Plainfield. Next day, attended their week-day meeting in silence. In the evening had an appointed meeting at the house of a Baptist, where I had one several years before. Many young people of the neighborhood being present, as well as those more advanced, we had a tendering season together. Precious was the influence of Divine love, qualifying me to declare gospel truths among them. A sweet solemnity prevailed, I believe, on almost every mind. Blessed be the Lord, my most merciful helper, who thus confirmed me in the belief that he had called me forth to labor in his vineyard for the good of souls.

I continued about five weeks in the neighborhood of Plainfield; attended their First-day and week-day meetings in course, and had sixteen appointed meetings within about fourteen miles distance; also attended the burial of a person who had once belonged among Friends: in which opportunity my heart was filled with the power of the Word of Life. I stood forth among them under its heavenly influence, and was enabled to proclaim the Lord’s controversy against sin and iniquity, and various vices which alienate the soul from God; showing also the inconsistency of wars and fightings, with the purity of the gospel dispensation. I told them I would much rather that my life was taken from me, than, in endeavoring to save it, I should be the means of plunging a fellow creature, unprepared, into an endless eternity.

In the evening, I had a meeting in the Presbyterians’ house at Bound Brook. The weather was very cold, yet many attended. I felt considerable relief, but not so much as at some other times. The priest, being unwell, was not able to attend. Next morning I went to see him. He informed me he had never been at a Friends’ meeting, having lately removed here, from Berkley, in Virginia. He also interrogated me on various important subjects relating to our religious’ principles, I thought more from a desire of information, than disputation. He appeared pretty well satisfied with my answers, till the subject of war was mentioned. He then said, “You know we are commanded to submit to every ordinance of man, for the Lord’s sake.” I replied, I remember the passage well. But I also remember that Darius, king of the Medes and Persians, had ordained that no petition should be made to any god or man, for the space of thirty days, save unto him, upon the penalty of being cast into the lion’s den: and you may find that Daniel did not submit to his decree, because it opposed his duty to his God. Neither could those called the three children, Shadrach, Meshech, and Abed-nego, submit to the ordinance of king Nebuchadnezzar, in falling down and worshipping the golden image he had set up; although a dreadful punishment was to follow, even to be cast into a burning fiery furnace. Also, the apostles, when it was ordained that they should not teach nor preach, in the name of Jesus, did not submit to the ordinance, but answered, “We ought to obey God, rather than men.” I concluded with saying—It is not in your power, nor in the power of any man, to support war, upon the principles of Christianity. He then said, “I wish the whole world were of your principles in that respect.”

He then informed me there was to be a society meeting that evening in the academy, and wished I would stay and attend it. I told him I would rather not interfere with the religious worship of other societies. A little while after, he said, the meeting would be composed of the more religious part of his congregation, and if I could see my way to attend with them, he should be glad. I answered much as before. After a pause, he said, If you will attend meeting this evening, I will give up the service wholly to you. After weighing the subject, I informed him I should be willing, upon those terms. He then went to the academy, and made the arrangement for a meeting on my account.

In the course of our conversation, he spoke much in favor of the necessity of the influence of the holy Spirit, in religious concerns; and stated, that he had several times stood up to preach to the people, when he felt very unfit, for lack thereof. He appeared to lament this lack of Divine assistance, but said the people expected preaching and prayer, and would be much disappointed without these exercises. He also said, that sometimes he felt this sacred influence to attend his mind, or, as he termed it, “the spirit to move him;” and he then felt like another man; being much more strengthened and authorized when, he could enjoy it. In which I believe he was very sincere.

At dinner, he proposed to me, to perform the usual ceremony of what is called saying grace. I told him, I felt a thankful heart for the blessing of food before us, but could not publicly invoke the Divine Being without a special influence of grace to enable me. I spent about two-thirds of the day with him, to considerable satisfaction. In the evening he went with me to the academy, where I obtained some relief to my mind, but not abundant. The priest expressed his satisfaction with the meeting.

Next day, which was very cold, I rode to Springfield, and put up at the house of one who had once been a member among Friends; there being no other in that thriving town professing with us, and never a Friends meeting held there, though Daniel Offley of Philadelphia, accompanied by David Cooper, in the 2nd month, 1788, had one, a little out of the town, which I then attended. The friends who went with me, went out to obtain a place for a meeting. The priest and one or two other noted persons proposed the academy, but mentioned that a deacon who lived at the upper end of the town was to have a society meeting that evening. He was applied to, but refused to give it up. After dinner it came weightily on me to accompany Friends and the priest, to see the deacon. As we rode along, I asked the priest whether he had ever attended Friends’ meeting. He replied once, in the northern parts of New York State; in which, he said a man spoke a few sentences, and was followed by a woman who appeared very animated, and her discourse suitably adapted. I told him the man might have been an eminent minister of the gospel, though he then said but few words; for it sometimes so happened. Our ministers can speak only as the Spirit gives them utterance; sometimes it may be but a few minutes, at other times, several hours.

When we arrived at the deacon’s house, the priest and he entered into conversation for some time, partial notice had been given of the meeting in the evening, and the afternoon being short, I grew uneasy. So when they stopped a few moments, I inquired respecting the meeting; the deacon still said he expected to have a society meeting that evening. I told him it was with me a duty which I held more dear than my natural life, to appoint these meetings, and had felt great peace in so doing; that I knew nothing of their arrangements before coming, or I might have waited till another time. He then said, “I will drop my meeting till next week, so as to be no obstruction to you.” He then questioned me what kind of preaching Friends practised; whether it was practical, or doctrinal. I told him it was both; and added—it is sometimes practical, and sometimes doctrinal; at other times both.

The priest then said, “Why don’t Friends call the scriptures the word of God?” (Several of the deacon’s family being present, his wife and children with their eyes fixed on me,) I said, “Christ is the Word of God.” It is written in the Revelation, “Out of his mouth goes a sharp sword: and his name is called The Word of God.” And in the first chapter of John, it is written, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God; and the Word was God.” And again, ‘The Word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” Now, all this would be very absurd to apply to the holy scriptures; although we consider them the best book that ever was written, and press the diligent perusal of them.” He replied, “Be sure—take all the words from Genesis to the Revelations, and call them the word of God, I don’t know that it would be correct. I don’t know that there is much difference between us.” He then attacked me on the subject of war. I made some apologies respecting my feeble state of health, and a wish to have a little repose before the meeting, as the time was short, nevertheless that I was willing to answer any question he might ask as far as I was capable. I then recited the words of Christ on that subject, namely—loving our enemies, doing good for evil, praying for them that persecute us etc.; also the expressions of the apostle James, “From where come wars and fightings among you? Come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members!” And feeling myself divinely strengthened, I said to him, “it is not in your power, nor that of any other man, to support war upon the principles of Christianity.” He then informed the company how he had been conscientiously straitened in his mind, some time ago, on a subject of a military nature. After some further conversation we parted.

In the evening, I attended the meeting, which was crowded, the priest and deacon also being there. I very soon felt the Shepherd of Israel near; his blessed presence was in dominion in my soul. Various subjects were treated on, and several states addressed, in the power of the gospel. Much tenderness and brokenness appeared, especially among the youth. Near the close of my communication, I addressed those who of latter time, had been under Divine visitations,—who had felt the holy influence of the religion of Jesus, in their hearts, producing some change in them, and who had at times, felt its consoling effects; entreating them not to lay too great stress, or put too much dependence upon past experience: for, it was not enough for them who had once known the holy, benign influence of grace upon their souls, to conclude they ever should remain in it; for this cannot be the case, but through much watching and prayer; closet prayer, shutting the door of the heart, so that no earthly objects may enter. Hereby a communion with the Father of spirits is experienced, and the soul is kept alive and fruitful, being renewedly strengthened to maintain the warfare, until all evil is overcome. Oh! this secret silent prayer and travail is greatly lacking, even among the better kind of people. Many glorious opportunities of divine enjoyment are missed, for lack of patiently continuing therein, from day to day, and many weaknesses gain the ascendency over the soul, for lack thereof.

When I took my seat, the priest addressed the people, expressing his belief that the mind may be profitably employed in times of silence, and fully concurring with what I had said. After which my mind was clothed with a heavenly feeling, which I can no more obtain of myself, than I can command the clouds to drop down rain; under the influence of which I kneeled down, and my heart, through Divine, condescending goodness, was drawn forth to supplicate the Throne of grace for a more general pouring forth of the Holy Spirit, upon the sons and daughters of men; that thereby truth and righteousness might gloriously abound in the earth, and the knowledge of the Lord be spread far and near.

After the meeting closed, I spent a few minutes with those dear little children, whose hearts had been greatly wrought upon by the power of truth, so that they wept exceedingly. As I spoke to them, to comfort and encourage them, a number of those who had left the meeting returned again. I then left the place with a thankful heart, and returned to my lodging, though kindly invited by the priest and deacon, to tarry with them.

These society, or prayer-meetings among the Presbyterians, are frequently appointed by the deacons, and have lately increased in several places. They allow their women to pray in them; and in this town, I am told there are more than a dozen females, who frequently visit families and exhort them, as they see occasion, or pray among them. I am apprehensive some of these pious women will enter upon preaching unawares; for I was told by a friend who heard one of them exhorting a man of immoral conduct, that her communication was suitably adapted and feelingly delivered. It seems one step towards their getting over Paul’s words, which they used to lay so much stress on; “Let your women keep silence in the church.” Doubtless intended for that particular occasion, and not to lay a general prohibition upon others, so as to prevent them from exercising the gifts which the Lord had bestowed on them.

A few weeks since I visited a woman, a member of the Baptist society. In a few minutes, after sitting down with her, a heavenly sweetness spread over my mind, of which I informed her, and had to speak comfortably to her, as believing her sun would set in brightness, she being far gone in a consumption. She several times attempted to tell me the comfortable hope she had; but it exhausted her strength. It was a precious season and we were mutually thankful for the opportunity. I understood she had often felt strong impressions of duty on her mind, to exhort the people at funerals, and on other occasions, but had given way to discouragements, through fear and the prejudice of custom; by which she had incurred condemnation for omitting her duty.

What a pity that any human law or custom should prevent the word of God from having free course in the heart, and hinder females from exercising the gifts which the Lord has bestowed on them, in order publicly to promote virtue and discourage vice! I have no doubt that many females have, at times, been divinely influenced to pen their several writings; and that they might have been instruments in the Lord’s hand, in speaking in public assemblies to edification, exhortation, and comfort to the glory of God, if there had not been existing rules and laws, to prevent them: for this, I believe, has been the case in all religious societies but Friends. But I believe light—the light of the everlasting gospel is rising, and will shine brighter and brighter, so as to dispel the mists of prejudice from the minds of the people. I also believe that the prophecy of Joel, adverted to by the apostle Peter, at the day of pentecost, will be more fully accomplished, that the Lord will pour out of his Spirit upon all flesh, and that sons and daughters shall prophecy: which not only includes foretelling future events, but, as defined by the apostle Paul, has a more extensive signification; even speaking to edification, exhortation, and comfort.

I rejoice in believing, that notwithstanding the abounding iniquities of the present day, the cause of Truth, even the pure religion of Jesus Christ, is gaining ground, in the hearts of thousands. Principles more congenial with the purity of the gospel, are spreading. Peace societies are multiplying; and may the Lord Almighty bless their endeavors, if consistent with his will, to the convincement of many ten thousands, and showing them the horrible effects of war, that cruel engine of Satan;—than which, I believe there is nothing contributes more to strengthen his kingdom, and to unfit men for becoming true members of the church of Christ, the peaceable Messiah. The indulgence of the spirit of war and cruelty, most certainly gives, as it were, a death blow to all the sacred duties of Christianity, and also to every social relation which unites man to his fellow creatures, tending to promote the comfort and happiness of the human family, as children of the same universal Parent.

The belief in the necessity of the immediate influence of the Holy Spirit, as an essential qualification in matters purely religious, is more and more assented to: whereas, formerly, they were derided as blind enthusiasts who held to the absolute necessity thereof. The abolition of the slave trade to Africa, both by Great Britain and America, and several European powers approbating it, is also occasion of praise and thanksgiving to the Author of all good.

Shortly after my return home from Plainfield, I entered upon the same service, in several places with in eight miles of our village; had fifteen appointed meetings, one being for the colored people, and also attended a funeral. At all these places, as also in nearly all in the neighborhood of Plainfield, I was considerably enlarged in the ministry, except at a meeting in the evening at our meetinghouse, where I was silent: near the close I informed the people how it was with me, and though it was not pleasant to me as a man to convene such a number together, and have nothing to say, yet I dared not attempt anything in the way of preaching, without a divine qualification.

I have often had sweet, heavenly meetings in silence; in which I have felt such Divine influence as I shall esteem a great blessing, if my soul is favored there with, when drawing near the close of my time. Yet, at many of these seasons, I have felt no necessity to arise and speak to the people.

9th month, 14th, 1816. A religious concern weightily impressing my mind, to visit Friends, and appoint meetings, principally among other societies within the limits of New York Yearly Meeting. I broke up house-keeping, and, with the approbation of Friends, left home and proceeded to New York. Next day, the 15th, was at the morning meeting at Liberty street, where the spirit of prayer and praise was given me from on high, and my spirit was contrited before the Lord. It was a solemn time; blessed be his name. In the afternoon, was at Pearl street, which was also a favored season. My God was mouth and wisdom to me, and the meeting closed under a heavenly solemnity.

Between this and the 18th, I made several satisfactory social visits among my friends, having had very little opportunity of doing so for many years past, on account of bodily indisposition. I attended the two week-day meetings in course, and was at Pearl street meeting the ensuing First-day morning, where I was livingly and sweetly drawn forth in public prayer and praise to the Lord Almighty. In the afternoon I attended a meeting with the prisoners at the state prison, which was very crowded, a number of the citizens being present, with about six hundred prisoners. I soon felt an evidence that I was in my proper place, and under the protecting care of Israel’s Shepherd. I was drawn forth in exhortation, admonition, and solemn warning among them; had also to encourage some, who, I believe, were deeply humbled under a sense of their present forlorn, unhappy condition. The meeting ended to the relief of my mind—to the Lord be all the praise, for his mercies endure forever.

Next day, had a meeting at the Bowery, being at the further part of the city. On the morning of the 24th, had a large and satisfactory meeting at Brooklyn, and the next evening one between Manhattanville and Harlaem, in which I felt peace. Then went on Long Island, and had a number of meetings in various places; also attended Friends’ meetings there.

10th month, 3rd. Attended Jericho meeting. It was a favored meeting; the Lord is still my helper. After this I had meetings at Jerusalem, Bethphage, West hills, Huntington, Oyster Bay, Setawket, Smith-town Babylon, and several other places. Then attended the Quarterly meeting at Flushing, after which had meetings at Flat-bush and Gravesend; the latter very trying, by reason of the unsettled state of the people’s minds, about one third of them leaving the meeting, three or four at a time, while I was on my feet declaring gospel truths among them. But I felt the consoling evidence that I was in my proper place, endeavoring faithfully to follow my Divine Master.

10th month, 28th. Was at Newtown in the evening. A blessed glorious meeting it was. Truth was in dominion, and several present were much affected with its testimony. Such was the effect of his glorious presence in my soul, that sometimes I had to stop, in the utterance of some sentences in my public testimony, as also in vocal supplication; with which the meeting closed. The next evening had a meeting at Flushing. The Lord gave me a searching testimony against those who were walking in the broad way of libertinism; while the rightly exercised were encouraged to a holy perseverance in the narrow way that leads to life.

I have been greatly favored in my health since leaving home, near seven weeks past, so that I have not laid by one day, through indisposition. Blessed be the Lord.

11th month, 1st. Rode to Huntington, and had a small meeting in the evening being the third in that place, since I came on the Island. The people there are very backward in attending Friends’ meetings. The next evening had a highly favored opportunity at Henry Scudder’s, at which many attended; also the following evening, one at Jacob Harned’s. We then went on toward the east end of Long Island, and on the way, had a meeting in the Presbyterian house at Southampton; also one in a school house at Bridge hampton, both of which were large and favored, especially the last, which closed in solemn supplication.

11th month, 9th. Had a meeting at Easthampton, which was well attended and a highly favored season. I suppose I stood an hour and a half, declaring gospel truths among the people; and having no suitable place to rest my hands on, was very much exhausted. The people were solid and attentive and appeared well satisfied.

During the day preceding very many meetings that I have appointed, for a considerable time past, my mind has generally been much stripped, and deprived of the sweet incomes of Divine love. And while the people have been gathering, I have felt much inward travail and exercise, with fervent desires that I might glorify my dear Lord and Master, in such way as would best please him. As I have continued in this travail, he has blessed my soul with the light of his countenance; removing every fear and doubt, and emboldening me to stand forth, and advocate his glorious cause. I could then experimentally tell the people, that my reward was infinitely better than silver and gold; (which I never coveted;)—and that my recompense consisted in that sweet and heavenly peace of mind, which is a consoling evidence of being in the discharge of my duty to that gracious Being, who had called me forth from all that was near to me in this world, to labor for the good of others.

10th. Being First-day, we came to Sagg-harbour. The Presbyterian and Methodist meetings having just broken up, we inquired for some of the leading members. We first called on the Methodist minister. I told him my business, and showed him my certificate; which he read, and kindly invited us to dinner. This invitation we declined accepting, because it was needful to see the Presbyterian priest, before he went again to his meeting. The Methodist minister agreed to dispense with his evening meeting, and proposed their meetinghouse for us to meet in, and that he would spread information at the close of their afternoon meeting, to which I agreed. We then went to the Presbyterian priest. I informed him, as I did the Methodist, that from an apprehension of religious duty I had been engaged in appointing meetings, in many places on this island—that I wished to have one in that town in the evening, and should be glad if he would give notice of it at the close of his this afternoon. He readily consented, and then added, he presumed I would be willing to hold the meeting in their house. I told him I had committed myself already; that the Methodists had offered their house, and I had acceded to it. He objected, and urged much that I should have theirs, his wife also joining him in it, and saying, that many of his congregation would not attend if it was held at the Methodists’. I told him it was not owing to any partiality in me;—that, had I come to him first, I should, no doubt, have accepted his offer. He still urged me pressingly, and at length said he could do nothing to promote the meeting I had in prospect.

We then put up our horses at a tavern, and took dinner; were afterwards informed that notice was given at the close of the Methodist meeting, but not at the Presbyterians’. About candle light we went to the house, found it sufficiently lighted, and soon it was well filled; supposed upwards of six hundred assembled, and a number went away for lack of seats. A Presbyterian deacon was there, and it was thought most of the members of their meeting. Almost as soon as I took my seat, Almighty help was graciously vouchsafed, and I arose in about fifteen or twenty minutes, with the consoling evidence of being here by Divine appointment. The universality of Divine grace,—and the inconsistency with the goodness of the Almighty, of his decreeing everything that comes to pass, were subjects largely treated on, in Truth’s authority. Romans 1:28 was mentioned in opposition to unconditional election and reprobation: “Even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, therefore God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient.” This being the sole cause of man’s reprobation from the beginning of the world, and would continue to be to the end of time. Again, Rom. 11:22. “Behold, therefore, the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in his goodness: otherwise you also shall be cut off.” The cause of the Jews’ rejection was their unbelief. “Well; because of unbelief they were broken off, and you stand by faith. Be not high-minded, but fear: for if God spared not the natural branches, take heed, lest he also spare not you.” See here, in how clear a light the cause of reprobation is placed. And again, the holy martyr, Stephen, says, “You stiff necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, you do always resist the Holy Spirit: as your fathers did, so do you.” So it is plain, they and their fathers had the Holy Spirit, but resisted it: consequently they, and all other sinners, who continue to resist it, are the cause of their own destruction.

The unfaithful were exhorted, admonished, and solemnly warned, and the exercised travellers were encouraged. Near the close of my communication, I mentioned the inconsistency of wars and fightings with the purity of the gospel dispensation; and to make it more impressive, supposed two large armies, each composed of Churchmen, Presbyterians, Methodists, and Baptists, drawn up in battle array;—men professing to worship the same Almighty Creator; men professing faith in the same Divine Savior; men professing the same religious principles; who never until then had seen each other, and owing each other no ill will whatever: but, as soon as the word of command is given, the horrible work of death must begin. It was queried, What heart so hard as not to be affected with the shrieks and groans of the wounded and dying? And how many millions have been precipitated into an endless eternity, unprepared, without a moment’s time to repent, or even to call for mercy upon their poor, immortal souls? The subject was treated on in such a manner, as I believe, produced assent in many minds. A heart tendering supplication closed the meeting, and we parted affectionately. It was a blessed, good meeting; and I thought had I rode a hundred miles to attend that one, I should have been richly compensated.

Next morning we left Sagg-harbour, and came back by way of Patchogue, where we had a meeting the 13th of 11th month; in which I felt exceedingly tried for some time, with a sensible lack of feeling that power which is the life and authority of meetings, and the true sustenance of holy souls. At length a little light arose, and I found some relief; but Truth did not rise into such dominion as at some other times. After this meeting, we pursued our journey by way of Islip, to Jerusalem; and on the 17th, being First-day, had two meetings; one at Rainertown, and the other at Samuel Carman’s, in the evening. Next day visited the sick and afflicted; and the day following had a good meeting at Jerusalem.

20th. Attended Westbury monthly meeting, to a good degree of satisfaction; and next day a funeral of a Friend, where was a large gathering of people. The weather being mild, seats were made out doors, to accommodate the people at the house, where I was largely drawn forth in gospel testimony among them, as also in a heart tendering supplication. The Lord has dealt bountifully with my soul, and greatly strengthened my feeble body, to undergo the fatigue of travelling, thus far.

Next day, in the evening, had a pretty large meeting at Thomas Whitson’s, near three miles from Cow neck. Rested at E. Pryor’s on Seventh-day, and was at Cowneck meeting on First-day, which held from eleven till two o’clock; about three-fourths of which time I was engaged in public service among them. The Lord my God was mouth and wisdom; and to him be ascribed all the praise.

24th. Had a meeting at Rockaway, which was a good time. The next day, rode to my cousin Samuel Parsons’, at Flushing, where I was kindly received, and rested the day following. His wife is a descendant of John Bowne, mentioned in Joseph Besse’s account of Friends’ sufferings. He was banished from here to Holland, while the Dutch had possession of New York, on account of his keeping up a meeting for Friends at his house. The house is yet standing, and is inhabited by the mother and sisters of Samuel Parsons’ wife, and from its appearance may continue a good habitation for many years. The present meetinghouse at Flushing, appears to have been built in the year 1694; it is still in good condition, and may probably continue many years. In this neighborhood, I saw a copy of a letter from George Fox to William Caton, who was then at Amsterdam; wherein George requested William to join with Friends of that city in an application to those in authority, on behalf of the said John Bowne, who was banished there; and who, he said, was an honest, upright-hearted man. The year after he was banished, the English took New York, and he returned to his house and farm, which has been in the family ever since; and where, for above one hundred and fifty years, great numbers of Friends have been very kindly and comfortably entertained.

28th. I attended the week-day meeting at Flushing, which was comfortably owned with the Divine presence. In the afternoon, visited the sick. Next day, my cousin took me to New York; and on First day, 12th mo. 1st, I was at Liberty street meeting both morning and afternoon. My mind was brought under much exercise, from a sense of the great importance of the work I was engaged in, and my spirit was bowed before the Lord in secret prayer for his assistance. In this state I went to the afternoon meeting; where there were a number attended of other societies. I soon felt an evidence that Israel’s Shepherd was near. His blessed, consoling presence was mercifully vouchsafed, and my way clearly opened to advocate the cause of righteousness. I commenced with these words: “That which hinders, will hinder, until it be removed out of the way.” Those who hitherto had given way to things which obstructed their spiritual progress, were faithfully labored with; and the rightly exercised were eneouraged to persevere in their Christian warfare. I was also led to treat upon the doctrine of unconditional election and reprobation, in its various parts. The idea or notion that many have erroneously adopted, that the Most High has decreed everything that comes to pass, was testified against: because it exhibits a Being of infinite power, wisdom, mercy, justice, and goodness, as more cruel than the most cruel tyrant that ever existed; it charges him with introducing millions, or myriads of human beings into this state of existence, and depriving them of grace to effect their salvation; and, after a life of many conflicts, dooming them to eternal misery for what they could not avoid, for being just as wicked as his decrees compelled them to be. Everything needful for man has been done. The grace of God that brings salvation has appeared unto all men: those who are passive under its operations, and do not draw back, experience it to draw them nearer and nearer unto the Lord;—they grow in grace, advancing from one degree of stature to another. On the contrary, those who do not like to retain God in their knowledge, who cease from watching and praying, fall into a reprobate mind, and are the cause of their own destruction.

12th month, 2nd. I had an evening meeting at Jersey city, opposite New York, in which I was led to set forth, that many, almost as soon as they felt the power of Divine grace, sweetly influencing and tendering their hearts, considered from there, that they were of the number of the elect, and that they could not fall. Thus, persuading themselves that they were safe and out of danger, they abated in their Christian watchfulness and prayer to such a degree, as gradually to relapse into a state of lukewarmness and indifferency, and the loss of that sense and savor of religion, which they had once been blessed with; and which would have increased, had they kept in a lowly, humble, watchful state, breathing unto the Lord for strength and preservation.

4th. Attended the monthly meeting in New York, chiefly in silence. Was so unwell, as to have to leave before it closed. Next day better, so as to make several social visits—the day following went to Newburgh, in a steamboat; had much conversation with several of the passengers on the subject of war; and was glad in believing that the minds of many people are increasingly illuminated to see its inconsistency with the purity of the gospel. My soul rejoices in beholding the progress of the peaceable spirit of Christ, in the earth. May the Lord Almighty hasten the day, when the nations will learn war no more, and the glorious and peaceful reign of the Messiah spread more and more among the kingdoms of men.

Landed at Newburgh in the morning, and rode about five miles to David Sands’. He has labored abundantly in the service of the gospel, in different parts of Europe and America, within forty years, and many have been convinced through his powerful, heart-tendering ministry. He is now about seventy one years old. May the Lord bless the evening of his life.

8th. Attended the meeting at New Cornwall, and had an evening meeting about six miles further. I was much enlarged in gospel testimony in them—David Sands’ accompanying me. I then had meetings at J. Cromwell’s, Monro, Bloomingrove, Goshen, and Chester. At the latter place, I went to the house of a Presbyterian Deacon, and when a meeting was proposed to him, it was sometime before he could speak, his heart was so rejoiced; for he had been for some time wishing for a Friends’ meeting there. I had much interesting conversation with him, and found him convinced of the inconsistency of wars and fightings; and that he disapproved of the doctrine of unconditional election and reprobation. We discoursed considerably on the necessity of feeling the Divine influence, either to pray, preach, or sing; with which he united, saying that he had sometimes refused to pray at their society-meetings, when solicited thereto, for lack of a right qualification. He appeared well satisfied with my visit, and with the meeting in the evening.

20th. Had an evening meeting at Newburgh, which was small—concluded to have another next evening, which was likewise small in numbers, yet I was glad I was there. A great deal of trade and business is carried on here, and the people’s minds are too much absorbed in it. On First-day, 22nd, was at a good meeting at New Cornwall, where the Lord was my helper. Next day, Truth arose in glorious dominion at meeting at the Valley.

24th. Had an evening opportunity at William Edy’s, an ancient friend, who appeared near his close, but in a comfortable state. It was a favored season, and I believe all present were sensible of it. Next day attended Marleborough monthly meeting, where I met with my dear friends Thomas Titus, and Naomi Halstead, valuable ministers. The two following evenings, I had meetings, one at Middletown, the other in a schoolhouse; which was crowded. Great is the openness among the people of different societies; their prejudices being wonderfully removed; and they often acknowledge to what they have heard, being glad of the opportunities thus furnished. The priests and deacons often give notice of our meetings, and in several instances have discovered a favorable disposition towards them. I generally have evening meetings, because they are much better attended, accommodating laborers, mechanics and others, whose business in the day time might suffer if not attended to.

1st month, 1st, 1817. Have been at four meetings at Marleborough, and the village, also one at Lattentown.

2nd. At the Valley, where was a marriage, and a large collection of people. The Lord’s power was in dominion: and in the strength thereof, gospel truths were delivered among them. Next evening had a meeting at Daniel Lawrence’s. First-day at Plattkill meeting; next at the funeral of William Edy. 7th an evening meeting at Paltz, and next day attended meeting there, also had an evening meeting at Springton. The day following was at Rosendale Plains meeting, and another in the evening there. Then had a meeting at Little Esopus, in the courthouse, and afterwards attended the Quarterly meeting at Cornwall.

18th, an evening meeting at Smith’s Clove. Next day, being First-day, at Friends’ meeting there in the morning, and one next evening at a factory. From there to Kakiat, where, and in the neighborhood, I had four evening meetings, but was too unwell to attend Friends’ meeting there on First-day. This is the second I have omitted through indisposition since I left home; and all the appointed meetings I have been able to attend, which I esteem a great favor from the Lord, for my bodily health and strength are such that I have scarcely rode a mile, with comfort, nor had one good night’s rest, or as much sleep as nature craved, since I left home. But the will of the Lord be done.

27th. A family opportunity at Jonathan Seaman’s, Kakiat. I never remember having my heart so filled with the Divine power and presence, as at this time. My spirit was greatly contrited, so that I could sing praises to the Lord our God, who is ever worthy.

28th. Had an evening meeting at Haverstraw, near the North river—a highly favored season, in which the Lord dealt bountifully with me, filling my soul with his blessed power and love, while addressing a mixed gathering of different societies. After this I had a meeting near Smith’s Clove, with the Methodists, in which I was concerned to hold up to view the necessity of waiting for Divine influence in all religious services, from these words of Christ—“Without me you can do nothing.”

Frequently, during the day preceding these evening meetings, I was much deprived of the sweetening influence of Divine love, and could do nothing as to preaching the gospel, until I experienced a gathering into the name of Christ, and felt the renewing of his life giving power in my soul. I was then strengthened and emboldened to address saints or sinners, and to speak to their different states and conditions. But when I felt this Divine virtue abating, it apprized me of the time of drawing to a close of my communication, in which I found safety and peace.

In the beginning of the 2nd month, I was again at Cornwall; had also another evening meeting at Newburgh, being the third at that place, and larger, as well as more comfortable and relieving.

2nd month, 3rd. The weather being intensely cold, I crossed the North river on the ice, and had a good meeting in the evening among the Presbyterians near Fishkill landing. I next went to Fishkill town, and consulted the priest about a place to meet in. He appeared very willing to promote my concern, and assisted in spreading notice. The meeting was held in a large school house, which was well filled, the priest and principal inhabitants attending. I was kindly invited, after meeting, by a person of note in the town; he and his wife were affectionately disposed to assist in making me as comfortable as they could. The next day rode to S. Dorling’s at Beekman, and had a large, heavenly meeting there in the evening, numbers coming five miles to it. On First day was at Oswego, where my heart was filled with Divine virtue, so that several times it was with difficulty I could speak, being broken and contrited by the power of the gospel.

10th. I rested at the house of my dear friend Daniel Quinby. Then was at Nine Partners week-day meeting, and had several others a few miles distant. The Lord was gracious to my soul, and fulfilled his promise made in the early part of this journey, thus: In all places where you shall have meetings, my presence shall accompany you. Blessed be his name now and forever. The weather being extremely cold, and considering my feeble state of health, I was under much exercise for some days, in regard to proceeding further in the arduous service. After supplicating for wisdom and strength to dedicate my whole heart faithfully to the Lord’s service, I concluded to continue my journey; and on the 16th rode to the Branch. Next day, attended Oblong monthly meeting, but was too unwell to sit to the close. Growing better in health, I had three evening meetings in the neighborhood, the last of which was at Sherman, in the state of Connecticut, attended by the priest, who expressed his satisfaction with the opportunity, and pressed me to lodge at his house.

21st. Rode to Patterson, and had a small meeting there, the roads being very sloppy, by reason of snow and rain. A Methodist minister was much affected under the testimony I had to bear. I had here, as in many other places, to inform the people that my first business in meetings was to gather into the name of Christ, in order to feel his blessed power and presence to influence my soul, it being the essential qualification of a gospel minister, without which I could do nothing that would conduce to the glory of God, or the good of others.

Next day I rested, having taken some cold, by being very much exposed to the rain and snow. The day following being First-day, I was at a meeting called the Hollow. Many of other societies attended, and I was led to show, that preaching, praying and singing, under profession of worshipping the Divine Majesty, might be performed while the minds of individuals thus employed might be roving upon the things of this world; and that it could not be otherwise, unless those engaged in these solemn acts felt their hearts divinely influenced by the power of the Holy Spirit, to qualify them to worship the Supreme Being.

After this I had evening meetings at Sommertown, A. Underhill’s, and one near Tompkin’s mills. I have been more and more poorly of late; the distress in my head, sometimes, very afflicting, and a poor appetite much my lot.

3rd month, 1st. Had an evening meeting at a tavern near Amawalk, where many collected. I have no desire improperly to mention the state of my mind, and my views of the different meetings I attend. Suffice it to say, the Lord my God has dealt bountifully with me. I believe few, if any, have travelled under such bodily affliction and suffering, for so long a time together. Was it not for holy help in every meeting I attend, I could not persevere through such extreme cold weather, and with such poor appetite, that I frequently don’t eat anything at meal times. But the Lord is good; blessed be his holy name forever.

On First-day, the 2nd of 3rd month, attended Friends’ meeting at Croton Valley; also, had meetings in the evenings at Elihu Griffin’s, Sing-Sing, and in the courthouse at White Plains—the latter for some time very trying, but ended well. Next day rode to Westchester, and was at meeting there on First-day; also, in the evening, at a village near Thomas Walker’s. From there to New York, and so home on the 15th, after an absence of six months. Blessed be the Lord my God for his fatherly care over me, both spiritually and temporally. May I devote to him the residue of my days, is the desire of my soul.

5th month, 23rd. I again left home, and attended the Yearly meeting held in New York. After which went on board a Hudson packet, and had meetings with the passengers on the way, in which I was comforted. Arrived at Hudson on the 2nd of 6th month, and had a meeting there the next evening. After which had meetings at Athens, Hudson, Klinckill, Claveruk and Catskill. From there to Stanford, North East, Little Nine Partners, and several meetings at private houses.

In some of these meetings I had to testify against taking the Lord’s name in vain, and to hold up to view the dreadful consequences resulting from the too free use of spiritous liquors; likewise the impropriety of too familiarly or formally discoursing about religion; for that people might talk of religion for hours together, and be gratified in hearing each other’s sentiments; but if the Lord reigned not in their hearts, bringing their wills into subjection to his—if self predominated, and they loved the world more than their Creator, he would not be glorified nor their souls edified. But those that fear the Lord, and think often on his name, frequently speak one to another in his fear, and “they are mine says the Lord, and when I make up my jewels I will spare them as a man spares his own son that serves him.” These are true Christians, who have known Christ formed in them; and through obedience to the teachings of his Spirit in their hearts, worship God in spirit, daily breathing unto him in secret, that their souls may enjoy his consoling presence, which he graciously manifests, sometimes after seasons of great seeming desertion, by the breaking of heavenly bread, to their rejoicing.

In the beginning of the 7th month, was at the Creek, and Crum-Elbow meetings; also had meetings at Pleasant Valley, Hyde Park, and Poughkeepsie. Not feeling satisfied with the opportunity at the last place, I went with two friends to the sheriff and clerk of the court, to obtain liberty to hold a meeting in the courthouse. They hesitated some time, having refused it to a congregation some time before, and were afraid of giving offence. I told the sheriff, I believed it was a Divine requisition that I should appoint meetings in many towns and villages; but unless a suitable place to contain the people could be procured, it would be very difficult for me to fulfill my duty. He then appeared willing, but referred us to the Judge who could give permission. We went to him and he soon consented, saying he would take the responsibility on himself—so a meeting was appointed to be held at six o’clock in the afternoon, when the courthouse was soon much crowded, and I felt the Lord’s presence to strengthen me, (having been very poorly) but was enabled to discharge my duty toward this numerous assembly.

7th month, 16th. Left Poughkeepsie, and rode to Fish-kill Landing. Had a meeting there, and another at Pecks-kill, though under much distress in my head. From there to Amawalk, on First-day—after which rested a few days, and was favored with Divine tranquillity. Thanks be to the Shepherd of Israel, for this favor. Was again at Amawalk meeting, also at Salem, and Shappaqua; I likewise attended a meeting there in the afternoon appointed for B. P. from New England. Then visited the widow and children of Caleb Underhill, a valuable minister deceased. The three following days, was at the Quarterly meeting at Purchase. In the last of which, as a parting opportunity, the service of the ministry fell to my lot, to our mutual satisfaction.

This was the conclusion of my labors, within five Quarterly meetings, of this Yearly Meeting—which have occupied, altogether between eight and nine months. My God has been graciously pleased to furnish me with ability for this service. He has been strength in weakness, both of mind and body; the latter under daily suffering. But the will of the Lord be done; he gives and takes away; blessed be his holy name forever.

In this journey, most of the meetings I have had among other societies have been held in the evenings; the few held at other times have been mostly small, not half the number attending as at early candle light. In some instances, I have known the number to be in a six or eightfold proportion greater in the evening. Where not more than forty or fifty people could be collected in the daytime, in the same towns I have had meetings in the evening, when a hundred and fifty to two hundred have attended. And I have never, in a single instance, heard of any improper behavior after these opportunities. I am therefore persuaded, that in most places, for those classes of people, evening meetings are best, as they are thereby accommodated in their business. To me, however, it has appeared right, and I have peace therein.

On the 2nd of the 8th month, I arrived at my home in Rahway, and went to see my sister Abigail, at Plainfield, the same day: she being very ill, but favored with great patience, and even innocent cheerfulness. Next day, attended Plainfield meeting in the morning, and had an appointed meeting in the afternoon at Scotch Plains, among the Baptists, to their and my own satisfaction. On the 14th, my dear sister departed this life, and I trust, made a peaceful close. About a week after, I set out to visit my son Joseph and family, resting at Port Elizabeth, in the lower part of this state. On the way attended meetings morning and afternoon at Trenton, in which I had the consoling evidence of that peace, which is more to my soul than all visible objects.

In passing through Philadelphia, I called to see our ancient and valuable friends, Samuel Smith and Rebecca Jones; who were both confined to their beds with illness. I had a sweet, comfortable time with each, in waiting upon the Lord, at their bedsides, and imparting encouragement to them. Dear Samuel expressed, that such visits were very comfortable to him, and that he should be glad there were more such opportunities; and dear Rebecca appeared much tendered at parting. When I returned to the city about two-weeks after, I was informed that Samuel Smith was deceased, a few days before; and I have no doubt, has gone to receive the reward of well-doing, in that kingdom of glory, prepared for the faithful followers of Jesus Christ.

In the 10th and 11th months, 1817, with the concurrence of my friends, I was at many meetings in East and West-Jersey, and in Bucks county, Pennsylvania, mostly among other societies. The last appointed meeting was at Princeton, to which many of the collegians, and students of divinity, (so called,) attended. It was a large and solemn meeting. Truth was in dominion, and I believe, reached many hearts. The Presbyterian preacher of the place came to me at the close, and very kindly invited me home with him; but I excused myself—it not being convenient. At this place, they have lately erected a large building called Theological Hall, intended to prepare young men for preaching; which appears to me to be a relic of popish darkness, that I believe, in the Lord’s time, will be scattered by the arising of pure, evangelical Light, which only can qualify sons and daughters, to preach the plain doctrines of Christianity. There is no need of learning Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, in order to enable preachers to address the people in a manner adapted to their understandings, and to show them, that if they will be Christ’s disciples, they must take up his cross daily, and follow him in the regeneration, subduing the propensities of their nature, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life.

The next day, I rode in a chaise about thirty-six miles, and the day following attended our select meeting at Shrewsbury. Next day the Quarterly meeting for the business of the church. After which I returned home by way of Plainfield, the 20th of 11th month, and was at our monthly meeting at Rahway.

2nd month, 20th, 1819. I have been at home a little more than a year; and have been enabled, through the Lord’s goodness, to attend our meetings most of that time, a few instances excepted, But, for three months past, have been much tried, early in the mornings, with difficulty of breathing; the phlegm collecting after a few hours sleep, I have to cough, and raise considerably, accompanied with pain and soreness in my breast, and some fever, from which I conclude I have entered into a consumption, and am much debilitated, but I feel the Shepherd of Israel near, and through his great mercy I have nothing to fear; for perfect love has cast out all fear of death. I humbly trust in his goodness, that he will yet be my Comforter in sickness, as he has often been from my youth, and that he will give me victory over death, hell, and the grave.

23rd. I still feel my dear Redeemer near, comforting my soul with the incomes of his love. I have experienced the truth of that declaration, “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” A divine tranquility and sweetness attends me through the day; and I feel the love of God shed abroad in my heart, enabling me to praise his holy name.

4th month, 21st. This day my housekeeper had a fall of about seventeen feet, by the giving way of my back porch; but was marvellously preserved from instant death, or even from being very seriously injured. Weak and poorly as I was, I ran to her assistance. I hope this awful event will prove a blessing to her and her young acquaintance, to excite them wisely and timely to prepare for death, seeing life is so very uncertain. My heart was filled with thanksgiving and praise to the Lord Almighty for this wonderful deliverance.

5th month, 25th. My fever rarely leaves me. The Lord my God is still very gracious unto my soul; giving me an unshaken evidence that my name is written in the Lamb’s book of life; and that when the immortal spirit is set free from this afflicted tabernacle, I shall join the glorious company who are clothed in white raiment, and palms in their hands, saying with a loud voice, “Salvation to our God, who sits upon the throne, and unto the Lamb.”

6th month, 2nd. These four days past have been very painful; have slept but about eight hours in that time; the last night but one passed without any sleep, but it was one of the most comfortable of my life. I did not regret the loss of sleep, nor the pain which prevented it; for my dear Lord sweetly comforted my soul with his love, confirming me in the belief that there was a mansion of glory prepared for me. I have frequent opportunities to communicate important truths to Friends and others who come to see me, now in my sickness. May the Lord bless every season and service of this kind to his glory and the good of souls.

6th month, 18th, 1820. I am still continued in mutability. About ten months ago there were fourteen of us laboring under apparent consumption, within one mile of my house. Thirteen of these are taken hence, and I am left still longer to struggle with the conflicts of mortality. Praised be the Lord, who is just in all his ways, and righteous in all his works. Many, very many, have been the tedious days and wearisome nights I have had to pass through. If it contributes to your glory, O my God and King, (as I trust it does,) that I should be continued a considerable time longer, enduring sharp bodily pains, your will be done. You have, from time to time, blessed my soul with glorious prospects; and again, this day, have sweetly consoled your afflicted servant—granting me an unshaken belief, that in your blessed, appointed time, my soul will join your holy angels, archangels, and glorified spirits, in singing endless praises to you and your beloved son, the Lamb, through an endless eternity, in the new Jerusalem, where there is no need of the sun or moon, for your glory, O King of saints, and the glory of the Lamb, is the light thereof. There shall I behold the holy patriarchs, prophets, apostles, and martyrs, and eternally unite with them in singing, Hallelujah, blessing, honor, glory and praise, unto You, who sits upon the throne, and unto your beloved son, the Lamb, forever and ever. Amen.

25th. Under much bodily suffering, night before last, and yesterday morning, my faith was more than usually proved. Thoughts presented to my mind, that I may languish a long time yet. I appealed to my God, saying, “You know that I love you;—that I am willing (your grace assisting) to obey you in everything, and to glorify you. O Heavenly Father! enable me to endure trials, and to keep the word of your patience.” The Beloved of my soul heard my cry, and after much depression, again lifted up the light of his glorious countenance upon me. My great pain became more moderate, and I was enabled again to bless and praise his glorious name, who makes hard things easy. He also increased my faith in him and in his dear son, Christ Jesus, whose precious blood flowing into the souls of his children, redeems them unto God, of every nation, kindred, tongue, and people. Thus the blood of Christ cleanses from all sin, also sanctifies them, and makes them fit temples for the holy spirit, the Comforter, to dwell in.

Oh! how wretched would be my condition, in this sore probation, had I an angry God before my eyes, condemning me from day to day! But thanks and praises be ascribed to the King of saints, it is otherwise; and I feel constrained to pen these lines, in hopes, that when my body is in the silent grave, they may tend to the encouragement of some of Zion’s travellers, to put their trust in the Lord Jehovah. O you tribulated follower of the Lamb! though your faith and patience may be tried to the uttermost, don’t cast away your confidence, in this time of deep probation. The Lord your God is nearer to you than you are aware of; and in due time will “appoint unto you beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;” therefore put your trust in him, and patiently wait, and quietly hope for his salvation.

In the 11th and 12th months, my health was so much better, that I was able to attend our meeting, at Rahway, five times. But during the winter my bodily distress was again very severe. Several nights, I sat by the fire, instead of lying down, in order to prevent the severe attacks of pain in my head, and difficulty of breathing; which had a good effect.

6th month, 10th, 1821. These two nights past, I have sat up by myself alone, until the day dawned, on account of bodily diseases. Not having much need of assistance, I enjoy myself much better sitting up in the night, than going to bed,—sometimes sleep two hours in the morning, but mostly awake with the pain and oppression. You, O Lord, know what is best for me. Oh strengthen me to endure these trials, and to bear with holy patience and resignation, these afflictions, with which you see fit to try me. Not my will, but yours, O Father, be done. Support me upon this bed of languishing; so that in all, and through all, my soul may bless, praise, and adore your most glorious Majesty; and in the night season while thousands and tens of thousands of my fellow creatures are asleep, let my soul ascend unto you, in the heavens, in prayer, thanksgiving and praise. Amen.

6th month, 18th. 1823. Two years and eight days have passed since writing the above. They have been days and nights of affliction, except about ten weeks, preceding the 1st of 3rd month last. In which time the Lord, in a miraculous manner, removed my complicated disorders of chills, fever, cough, shortness of breath, and, nearly so, the pain in my head, of more than forty years continuance. But attending a funeral, on that day, above three miles from home, and the weather being extremely cold, the exposure was too much for me; though I went to meeting next day, I was obliged to leave it, and have since been confined to my house—all the above mentioned disorders have returned, and my whole system is more completely disorganized than ever before.

But blessed be the Lord, none of these things move me. He knows what is best for me. His holy will be done. Amen.

*  *  *

After writing thus far, it does not appear that Isaac Martin made any additions to his Journal. For several years previous to his death, his bodily powers gradually declined. The pain and distress in his head, to which several allusions are made in his memorandums, continued to afflict him; so that sometimes, for several months together, he was unable to get out to any meetings. At some intervals, when his health was a little better, he attended a few meetings at Rahway; although he frequently had to leave them before their conclusion.

His ministry was considered sound and edifying, and he generally had a good flow of words in his communications. He was an example and a lover of plainness and simplicity, and frequently bore his testimony against gaudy apparel and superfluities.

As he drew near the close of life, on being asked how he felt, he answered, “I have no fear of death. It will be no terror, but rather a joyful messenger to me: then I shall be released from all trouble.” At another time, a friend inquired whether there appeared to be anything in his way? He said “No, not a cloud. My work has gone to judgment before me. I have nothing to do but to die.” Again, he said, “I have fought a good fight; henceforth there is a crown of righteousness laid up for me, eternally in the heavens.”

He departed this life the 9th of the 8th month, 1828, in the seventy-first year of his age, having been an approved minister about thirty-eight years.

A Testimony to the Silent Worship of God, In Spirit and In Truth.

I have considered it a duty I owe to my great Creator and my fellow creatures, to commit to writing some of my own experience respecting silent worship. “God is a spirit;” and according to the declaration of his beloved son, “they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeks such to worship him.”

Now, in relating my experience concerning this silent adoration of the Supreme Being, I have not the least doubt that I communicate the experience of thousands who have fallen asleep in Christ, and of many that are still in the body.

It pleased the Lord to visit my soul with the day spring from on high, in the sixteenth year of my age; when, from day to day, he broke in upon me with the over-shadowings of his love, causing me to rejoice in his salvation—melting my heart and contriting my spirit before him, and making known to me, through the medium of his Holy Spirit, what to do and what to leave undone. Although from much younger life, I sometimes felt his powerful spirit at work in my soul, yet now in the fall of the year 1773, it became a daily visitation, and has so continued ever since; notwithstanding I have not every day enjoyed the like spiritual consolations, as in the day of my espousals unto Christ, my sovereign Lord. Though many a bitter cup of poverty and suffering has been wisely dispensed to me, yet as the word of God’s patience has been abode in, these seasons of probation and refining have been succeeded by times of refreshment from the presence of the Lord.

In these early visitations of heavenly love, I went to meetings in a very different state of mind from what I had done in the time preceding. I felt the Beloved of my soul to draw my attention from every worldly thought, and to center my mind on him, the object of my adoration and praise. Even when eminent ministers attended our meeting, I felt restrained by the Holy Spirit from indulging a wish to hear the gospel publicly preached; but secretly and fervently was I engaged to pray unto the Lord for help to draw nigh unto him, and worship him acceptably, in spirit and in truth. He begat these prayers in my heart, and he answered them; again and again lifting up the light of his blessed and glorious countenance upon my soul, and preparing the offerings of praise and thanksgiving with much tenderness and brokenness of spirit before him.

Here I was fed with the bread of life, which nourishes and strengthens the Lord’s children. I enjoyed what those valuable messengers of the Lord partook of before they rose to minister to the people—even the presence of the great I AM. He made himself known by the breaking of bread; he gave us to drink of the new wine of his kingdom; he satisfied our souls with his love. Being gathered together in the name of Christ, those ministers were anointed to preach the gospel to the people, in the demonstration of the spirit, and with power. The precious savor of life attending their ministry, and uniting with the same Divine influence in my heart, like face answering face in a glass, tended to strengthen and build me up in the most holy faith. Thus in the silent part of the meeting, previous to any vocal testimonies, pure and spiritual worship was performed to him who lives forever, and my soul was edified and refreshed. Blessed be the Lord my God, who has made me and thousands more, experimental witnesses of his life-giving presence, in those seasons of holy sequestration from every earthly object. A holy, spiritual communion with the Father and the son, has been abundantly witnessed, and our souls have abounded with thanksgiving and praises to him who sits upon the throne, and to the Lamb, who is worthy thereof forever more. Amen.

After some years’ experience in this silent, spiritual worship, I felt a necessity publicly to espouse the cause of truth and righteousness. But I dared not engage in this very important work of the ministry, without gathering into the name of Christ, and waiting to feel his power and presence to warm my heart, and influence it with the love of the gospel. Here, in reverential silence before the Lord, a renewed qualification has been given, from time to time, to preach the glad tidings of redeeming grace. Many times previous to appointing meetings among those not professing with us, I have been tried with great inward poverty. But, as I never determined in my mind, beforehand, that I would preach when I came to the meeting, and being utterly unprepared as to words, I have sat down with my mind turned inward to the Lord in mental prayer, knowing that without him I could do nothing; and he has graciously appeared in my silent waiting, furnishing me with strength and ability to offer matter, suitable I trust, to the states of many or most present. For unless I had felt his blessed presence to strengthen and qualify me, I would rather have laid down my life, than have attempted to minister to the people by virtue of any parts or abilities, natural or acquired, which, as a man, I might possess. So that I have always found it necessary to be engaged in silent worship, for a season, before public preaching or praying, in the assemblies of the people.

“The preparation of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.” And again, “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength: they shall mount up with wings, as eagles: they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.” A blessed and glorious privilege indeed! realized, in an especial manner, in the experience of those who have none but the Lord for their helper.

Great is the loss sustained by those who profess to be ministers of the gospel, for lack of patiently waiting for the necessary qualification of being endued with power from on high, before they attempt to utter gospel truths to the people. Such is the present degenerated custom, that, however many acknowledge the excellency of being actuated by the Holy Spirit, in matters purely religious, they do not avail themselves of it, by humbly and patiently waiting upon the Lord, for the aid thereof. A person of this class once said to me, “I have often been ashamed, when I have arisen off my knees, in meetings: have not you!” I told him no: and asked what made him ashamed. “Because (said he) my mind was upon the things of the world, while at prayer.” I told him there was a cause for that. You did not wait upon the Lord, to feel the spirit of prayer, poured out upon you. That would have kept your mind from wandering upon the things of the world, and would have fixed it upon the true object of adoration. It would have been better for you, not to have attempted to appear in prayer, at those times. A lamentable acknowledgment indeed!—mere mockery A form of godliness, without the power! and that which could not profit, but might do a real injury to the people, by setting them down in an empty form of worship.

“This people draws nigh unto me with their mouth, and honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me,” was a complaint of the Most High, formerly, and may include all such as do not experience the power of Divine love to influence their hearts, and enable them to worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.

Another person informed me, with apparent concern, that many times he had felt utterly unfit for the sacred work of preaching, for lack of feeling the influence of the Holy Spirit; and yet, in that state, he went through the service, because the people expected it. A third said, he felt more like falling down on the floor than preaching, and that he would rather have been following the plough.

It is clear and evident, that in such momentous concerns the Lord’s presence ought to be waited for, to enable the preacher to speak in the demonstration of the spirit and with power, and to baptize the hearers, so that they might be strengthened and edified together.

If people were but acquainted with this inwardly drawing nigh unto God, or as Paul said, “Seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him and find him, though he be not far from every one of us;” no, verily, he is near us, he is in us, by his Holy Spirit they would be much less anxious to hear preaching. Being gathered under the healing wings of the Prince of peace, and having bread in their own houses, and water in their own cisterns, what more could they desire? In this state of mind they would often be favored with a blessed assurance that their sins were forgiven, and that their souls were brought into a state of acceptance with God, their Creator. All fears and doubts would be removed, and renewed cause would often be given to magnify the Lord, and to rejoice in God their Savior.

William Law, who wrote largely, in an instructive manner, on many religious subjects, has these words: “To speak with the tongues of men or angels on religious subjects, is a much less thing than to know how to stay the mind upon God, and abide with him in the closet of our hearts, observing, loving, adoring and obeying his holy power within us.” Again, he says: “I hurt myself, and am only acting a part, if I speak to persons on spiritual matters, either sooner or further, than the Spirit of God (which blows when and where it wishes) would be resisted in me, if I held my peace.” And Bernard says: “All prayer is lukewarm, which has not an inspiration preceding it.”

It has not unfrequently happened, among some professing Christians, that when their preacher has been indisposed, or on some other account absent from his place of worship, that the meeting has been discontinued. What a pity that so great dependence has been put upon one man; as though his presence was indispensable in performing spiritual worship to the Most High; as though that blessed declaration of Christ could not be realized unless the preacher was present, “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”—Surely, it appears too much like limiting the Holy One of Israel.

Now, if the people in those places had been acquainted with, and delighted in gathering or turning the mind inward to feel after God, they might have sat together, and no doubt often would sit together, in heavenly places in Christ Jesus, and know their hearts divinely prepared to worship and adore the Majesty in the heavens, and be much more spiritually refreshed and strengthened, than to hear the best words that man could utter.

Preaching, under the influence of the Holy Spirit, is good, and a blessing to the church; but, persuaded I am, that if the people generally were disposed to receive strength from the pure Fountain of everlasting love, opened in their hearts, there would be but little necessity for it. Many instances have doubtless occurred of people living far from any who were considered ministers of the gospel, and have been visited with great bodily indisposition, so that their dissolution has been fully expected—to whom then could they apply, but to the Lord alone, who is a God hearing prayer. And as they have fervently sought him, as upon the bended knees of their souls, surely he has heard their secret cries, and granted them their hearts’ desire—even peace, sweet, heavenly peace, and an assurance that their sins were washed away by the blood of the Lamb.

Such is the nature, such the blessed effects, of cherishing fellowship with Heaven. Truly, the advantages are unspeakable. Would to God, that the people, everywhere, delighted therein; and, by yielding up their hearts to God, in the first place, they would often, from day to day, out of meeting as well as in meetings, have a spiritual communion with Him, who is the chiefest of ten thousands. An evidence, renewed from time to time, would be granted them, that when their warfare here on earth is accomplished, they will be admitted to join the innumerable company of the heavenly host, in ascribing blessing and praise, glory and honor, unto Him that sits upon the throne, and unto the Lamb forever.

Amen.

Isaac Martin.

Bridgetown, Rahway, East New Jersey, 9th mo. 27th 1819